10 Steps to Healthy Self-Esteem

Some life aspects play a crucial role and affect us more than we expect. It is about personality traits in the first place since you can be your worst enemy or best friend. Self-esteem is a vital personality trait because it brings happiness and fills your life with bright colors. People who lack it are prone to constant self-criticism and doubts about their actions. For example, a student can blame themselves for reading a bestessay review and using paper writing services even if it is the only possible way out. So, it is not surprising that such a person will not value such an opportunity and feel relief. A person with healthy self-esteem evaluates their skills and abilities positively, so they feel more satisfied. Thus, if you are caught up in self-doubts, it is time to work on your self-esteem and change your life for the better.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is your opinion about yourself that can be influenced by other people. It is important to distinguish healthy self-esteem from cockiness. The latter is about an overestimation of one’s importance to others and arrogance. In contrast, healthy self-esteem is the ideal ratio of one’s strengths and goals, the most accurate assessment of a person’s skills and qualities.

Low self-esteem manifests itself in excessive self-criticism, self-doubt, and shyness. Such people experience difficulties with communication, and they are often prone to depression. 

Reasons for low self-esteem

Low self-esteem has its root causes. It is the result of certain events in the person’s life. Psychologists distinguish several main factors that influence a person’s self-perception. 

Childhood traumas

Some children suffer from helicopter parents who try to protect them in every way possible. Such treatment leads to a feeling of helplessness. When the kid grows up, they face difficulties with making decisions and acting independently.

Another reason that comes from childhood is the lack of parents’ love. It is the opposite of helicopter parenting. Parents constantly compare a kid to someone better/smarter or physically abuse. As a result, the child loses faith in their strengths and abilities.

Negative experience

It can be about a broken relationship, a betrayal, a fiasco at work, or problems in college. For example, a student didn’t check the question, “Is unemployed professors legit?” They chose the wrong service to get their papers done and was expelled from college for plagiarism. This situation can become a huge personal tragedy and make the victim get obsessed with bad experiences. They just cannot adequately assess the situation, draw conclusions and move on

Effective self-esteem improvement techniques

The key moment here is to realize a problem. Often a person disguises it behind other feelings and deliberately avoids resolving the issue. When you feel like you are ready to work on yourself, do the following.

Keep a progress diary

This step does not require any serious money and time costs. Allocate 10-15 minutes to write down the small and big victories that happened to you today. Maybe you’ve read the book or finally got up an hour earlier than usual? You can always find a reason for praise. It will help you build a positive mindset every day and focus on your success. 

Change the environment

Evaluate people with whom you communicate most often. If there are negative people in your circle, reject your communication. You should interact more with successful people who have healthy self-esteem and treat you positively.

Go in for sports

The best way to distract yourself and get rid of negativity is to work out. Besides, if low self-esteem has something to do with your appearance, sports will help you look better. And your body produces the hormone of happiness, dopamine when doing sports.

Refuse self-criticism and self-searching

You will not increase self-esteem if you constantly scold yourself for something or are constantly dissatisfied with your appearance and abilities. Praise yourself more often and practice positive thinking.

Avoid comparisons

Everyone is a unique person with an individual set of qualities, strengths, and weaknesses. Remember that there are always those who have achieved greater results than you. In this case, you should perceive them as role models and not engage in self-flagellation. You can only track your success, recording your achievements in the diary.

Listen and repeat affirmations

Affirmation is a positive statement that creates the right mental attitude. These are our statements and beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and desires that we want to have right now. It is important to formulate affirmations in the present tense. For example, “I have a highly paid job”, “I am beautiful and healthy”, “I am a happy person.”

Get out of your comfort zone

Many people have already heard about this method, but they still do nothing. You should face your problems. If you feel insecure in a new company, start visiting crowded places and events more often and start talking first. Learn more about interesting communication techniques.

Attend training

There are many different training activities aimed at increasing self-esteem, gaining self-confidence, so you should choose the one that suits you most. If you are not ready to attend training, you can watch a movie or read a book on a relevant topic.

Forgive yourself

Uncertainty is often the result of self-guilt. Nobody is immune to mistakes, and you should be able to forgive them. Write yourself a note, describe your feelings, emotions, thoughts, problems, failures, and be sure to forgive yourself everything.


Meditation helps completely relax physically and mentally. Many different techniques can help you get rid of self-resentment and achieve peace.


by Harness Editor

Harness believes that freedom of expression equals female empowerment. The truth? We’re a badass authentic community of fierce women, and we exist to help your voice be heard. Harness is here to be your safe haven. A place to shed the competition, the insecurities. This is a place to rise by lifting others. This is who we are.


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