After weeks of beefing you asked me at a quarter to 6 how I felt about pulling up on you. In all honesty I waited long for that invite, now at these circumstances more than ever, however I couldn’t express that. I told you that if you brought me strawberry Häagen-Dazs you had a possibility of me reaching Boston.
We lay here minds staggering, vent sessions with you were something I looked forward to, you told me about the fire by your house how the whole hood showed love to you and your family, even created a memorial library for you guys. You listened to me express my differences with hypnosis readings and my best friend that passed. Mimi.
As we lay here, on Blue Hill Avenue. I wonder how things would be if we never explored romantically. Sexually. If I continued brushing you off sophomore year. If we stayed just friends. If we never met, if our friend at the time never set this up. Would we be here now and where are we headed to. Cause I was almost two months and my mind just wonders. Wonders if you care, cared or care now more than ever. Why did you even ask me to come here? Why did I even give in and come. We were both going through crisis and you thought it would be good to rekindle to get our mind off of things. But why try to rekindle something you wanted to end. Something I wanted to keep going but I’m just running on your time always and I just. I just don’t know where it’s going but I wanna keep going even if you don’t, even if you don’t wanna stay. Even if you called it quits.
Thinking bout the what if’s … almost two months.
