I was in some sort of an antique store. I was looking at a corner shelf, and on it sat a vinyl record player. A message of a woman’s voice began to play. This message is for me.
“I’ve seen the future. In this future you go to Hell and I see you there. You will end up in Hell for killing your ex-boyfriend.”
I respond, “What!? That can’t be true. I’ll stay away from him. I’ll move far away. I’ll make sure I never do such a thing and that never happens.”
Somehow the woman replies to me and says, “There’s nothing you can do. This is the person you will become. No matter where you go, your future is already set.”
I am now in some sort of an indoor swap meet. I am walking down the aisles of knickknacks, while I’m talking to God.
“After all we’ve been through God? All those times you’ve guided me and we’ve walked together? In the end you let me rot in Hell for all eternity! How can you do this to me God?”
I hear him reply to me. “Carina, I sent my only son to die on the cross so you don’t have to go to Hell, I have made you a new creation. Don’t let the devil lie to you.”
When I awoke I know instantly that this dream was from God, and what it means to me.
Several years ago when I was in my first years of college I was in a 2 year long relationship. But I didn’t have a relationship with God yet. This relationship was abusive emotionally, verbally, and on my side, physically. We were controlling towards one another and incredibly jealous. Our families begged us to break up. But we were two broken people addicted to one another’s poison. I remember being such an ugly person. If I were to describe to my Christian friends now the way I treated this man, the type of things I’d done, they would hardly believe it. There’s so many times thinking about this brought me such shame.
Fast forward years later, inevitably I am left with many emotional wounds that only time, therapy, and God’s hand would eventually bring the beginning of healing in. A fear that I developed is that I am incapable of being in a healthy Godly relationship. That even if I do have God now, and I am changed, that it could be possible that I would turn into my old self again. That I wouldn’t be able to control it and that unstable violent monster would come out when I least expected it.
But this dream made me realize that these fears were lies from the pit of Hell. God was graciously and lovingly reminding me that I am made new in him. He was reminding me that he will always be by my side molding me, perfecting me, and that I never had to be that person again. Even Satan himself cannot take away who I am in Christ, whom I belong to.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, The old has passed away; behold the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)