I have thin lips, a long pointy nose, lop sided ears and eyebrows which I simply cannot be bothered to tame. I wear very little makeup, my hair is, more often than not, in a frazzled bun, and the clothes I wear are kept on a solid, safe rotation of budget, brand or pre-loved items.
How many people can honestly say that by reading my bio of myself, they would think I was beautiful. Many people have already made a judgement on me, and that’s before they know the me that isn’t just what you see when I walk past you in the street.
So does what I am on the inside makes me anymore beautiful to you?
The majority of the time, I am excitable, and easily so. The smallest things in the world make me happy. If you really want to make me excited, tell me we are having Mexican food for tea, or you have found a new binge worthy show to watch on Netflix. I love my family and friends more than anything in this world, and every day I make myself be thankful for three little things. I try to see the positives in the people I meet, I give everyone a chance to be who they want to be, and I write articles like this one, to show that you can do anything and someone, somewhere might take notice.
Am I sounding slightly more beautiful? Let me just go ahead and ruin all that nice fully that you just saw in me.
I have a short temper, which is often aimed at the people closest to me. I cry, a lot, about nothing in particular and everything in the world, all at the same time. I suffer with depression periodically and though I try not to let my moods influence other people, I know that every time I am low, I manage to hurt or upset the people I love. I am rubbish at baking, I eat the last cookie without telling anyone, and I stand up for myself way to much when I have had a drink.
So what do you think, am I beautiful?
Let me be completely honest with you, I don’t mind if you don’t think I sound beautiful on the inside or on the outside. That’s okay. It just means maybe we just see beauty differently. Maybe we are just different people, and more importantly, this isn’t about you liking me as a person. This is about you, this is about you seeing the beauty that is inside you.
Each and every one of us has some ugly inside. Each and every one of us have made mistakes that we would rather forget. For many people, this is why looking into yourself is so hard. You have to be honest. Cold, brutal and honest. Only when you can see your true self can you decide the person you want to be, the beautiful you want to be. Maybe you are happy with the person you are, that is your beauty. If you decide you need to change or work on yourself, that is your beauty. There are no rules, no guidelines and very few specific definitions of beauty. Beauty can be whatever you want it to be.
As we get older, our minds change, we choose what is beautiful to us not based on what other people say it should be, but what we define as beautiful. It’s our experiences that make us who we are, that shape the person we become, and for all of us, there are aspects of our past which are not beautiful. However, that does not mean they do not matter. These are the parts of ourselves we need to accept and be comfortable with.
This is about being able to lay it all out, not for everybody to see. But for you to see. Because suddenly when you see yourself, you know yourself. When you know yourself, you can be comfortable and happy with yourself. When you are happy with yourself, you can see the beauty in yourself. And when you see yourself as beautiful, it doesn’t matter so much how other people see you. It matters how you see you.
Author: Fiona Price