Are you really checking in on your friends?

Perception is so real, ya’ll. Especially these days.

Last night, I celebrated the birthday of a very dear friend of mine. Now, we’ve known each other for years, but last night? Last night was different. Last night, we got a little more real. Last night, we seemingly pierced through a new layer of friendship. Last night, we bared our souls in a beautiful – and very new – exchange of transparency. And I just can’t stop thinking about that divine appointment.

Truth moment? On my way to meet her, I actually prayed for an attitude check. This is the friend that has it all the way together. And when I’m around her, I often pause and think “how the heck does she do it all with such ease?” or “how does the struggle bus miss her?” My goodness, I just wanted that nagging, little comparison bug to be silenced while in her presence for the night. I just wanted the opportunity to soak in the little bit of time we had together.

We met. We greeted. We sat at our table. And then, the conversation started. One topic led to another. And before I knew it, we were both dabbing tears away with the linen napkins. I discovered, over those FIVE hours together, that my perception could not have been more inaccurate. And the entire drive home, my mind raced with endless thoughts. How often do we see the social media feed and just assume things are okay or amazing? How often do we see someone’s “perfect life” and judge them right away or maybe… get a little jealous? How many times do we stop at someone’s “I’m good” without ever digging a little deeper?

It was a TOTAL HEART CHECK for me, needless to say.

Are there friends in your life who seem to have to all together? Friends who are always bubbly, smiling, and always ready to have a good time? Friends who you simply haven’t gotten super vulnerable with yet? My advice: Check in with them!!! Ask the deeper questions. “What are you feeling these days? How can I stand alongside you and support you better? What are you struggling with?” Make sure they know someone is there – to listen, to support, to encourage, to love. To simply be.

I went into last night’s dinner expecting an amazing dinner, an abundance of laughter and a much needed reunion with my friend. But what I got? A night that filled a huge need in both of us. A night that re-energized our spirits, allowing us both to push forward and keep trudging. A night that will be etched on this little ol’ heart of mine forever.

by shoplovemo

I'm Monique! A corporate meeting & event planner by day and creative entrepreneur by night, I launched LoveMo in 2019, a company devoted to to self-care, empowering women through curated gift boxes and encouraging resources. I'm an enneagram 2 and have fully embraced my deep desire for strong and meaningful relationships, committing to help others pour into self in order to show up better in their own relationships. When I'm not in the center of a women's circle or social event, I'm an introverted homebody and likely reading, writing, dancing or singing somewhere (...car karaoke is my jam!). I live in beautiful San Diego, California, but am always dreaming of new places to escape to. 


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