You tell yourself you
Don’t need nobody to care for you
You tell yourself you’re more than enough but
Every chance you get you
Are here, grabbing at my hips
Kissing my neck and telling me
You don’t know what I did to make you
So obsessed
I laugh, in the way that
Someone who enjoys the attention
Would laugh and tell you
With my ever-present air of mystery
That you don’t want to know
I laugh, in the way that
Someone who knows I didn’t even have to hex you
To have you in my spell would laugh
And you drink up every fuck I give
With a thirst unparalleled
Your head resting on my chest
On my shoulder
My arms wrapped around you
Breathing in the smell of your hair
You tell me the fact I stayed surprises you
I too am surprised, love
At how calm I am in your warmth
How those late-night drives make my heart race
How I laugh and let loose my tongue
Clever remarks and Spanish words dancing
I laugh, in a way that someone
Who is happy and in denial would laugh,
Soaking up every ounce of the energy that surrounds us
When we let our guards down
You, the one closed in behind
Tall walls
Me, the one learning to tear down hers
It’s taken me
25 years
500 lives and, strangely, finding you
To understand that only
From extreme darkness can you see
Intense light
And you and me, my love,
Are lost in the fine lines
Between sunlight and shadow
Enjoying each other in
Pleasure and pain
You always the one to pull away
Me the one to stay in questioning
Me the one to utter words
That can’t be unsaid
You the one to laugh, in the way that
Those who know they are loved laugh
And I am left in the dark
Wondering if I can share in that joy
Asking my cards for answers
They don’t want to give
Entertaining the notion that I can shape
Us, the world, me, you
To my will
To my wanting
I laugh, in the way
That those who know they walk the line between
Sanity and delusion laugh
As though I could will you into loving me
Half believing I actually can
