You are not as weak as you see yourself to be. It is in this stillness that you can hear what you have already known. In those moments when you look for validation and words of affirmation, you find nothing but emptiness and broken answers. What you can see in people, they cannot see in you. This is not your fault; they just do not have the right tools. For what people do not know is you have done a lot of work and completely see the truth.
This truth can push people away because they are scared. They are not ready to breathe in the new air. When you are accustomed to living in toxic or hazardous conditions, seeing anything healthy can be a trigger. It is not just them for you have your moments. When something is too easy, you question their motives. Not everyone is your past nor are they trying to be. You just must trust the process and just be. Be in the moment, the laughs, the talks, and in the kiss. Allow yourself to feel all the things you have missed. The ones before could not be there for you. They could not see the gift and the greatness in you.
You are beautiful, powerful, loud, and gentle. You have a habit of staying in your mentals. The heart in your chest, you wear on your sleeve. You give so much and pour simply to please. You want so bad for people to see. See who you truly are and not a fantasy. You are not perfect, but you try so hard to be. So much so that when you fail you sit in misery. You will become so down, broken, hard on yourself, and extremely depressed. There is nothing no one can say or do for you even at their best.
To see and be reminded of the humanness in you, that we all make mistakes and perfectionism is just not true. Some may get hurt by your actions and the choices you make. They may question every word you say. Do not fight so hard to turn things around. This is when you give it to God and get off the ground. Please do not punish yourself any longer, remember who you are and the power within to do wonders. Your voice can heal the broken and the sick, your smile can move mountains brick by brick, your eyes can calm anyone’s internal storm. Your heart is as peaceful as an ocean sunrise.
There is so much inside of you, I wish you could see. That I am you and you are me.