I have come to believe confidence is not an attribute you are born with. It is a skill you practice.
So in order to feel more confident, you just need to practice being confident. The author, speaker, and success coach, Jen Sincero, says, “Success = Dreams + Fear + Doing It Anyway.”
That “doing it anyway” piece, that is how we practice confidence. In my work, I help clients gain confidence so they can take on the risks they desire with ease. Because once we build this muscle, obstacles are nearly effortless to overcome.
This has been true for my life too. On our drive up to the family lake house this year, my dad and I discussed the topic of confidence. We both agreed on the importance of flexing the “I Can Do This” muscle. Even at the lake, it is an easy thing to practice, as long as you push yourself to do it.
I am super-new to water skiing (like I got up for the first time last year). This year on the drive, I vowed to flex my “I Can Do This” muscle by not only getting up, but going out of the wake too. Was it a scary proposition? Sure. Did I have confidence I could do it? All signs pointed to “No”–I had only gotten up once in my entire life. A different person would be driving the boat this year. So it would be a new driver, new boat. I would be wearing different skis and have more people this year to watch me with my parents and my in-laws around. I was afraid of falling–it can hurt. If I wanted to, I could have talked myself out of it, easily.
But with my parents and Adam, my husband, to hold me accountable, I chose to flex my confidence muscle instead. Sometimes that is all the push we need–someone to hold us accountable to go after what we want in life. One of my favorite parts of my job is holding my clients to the highest version of themselves and encouraging them to go after what they want, even when it’s not easy.
To be honest, when asked the first night if I wanted to ski, I chickened out; I was afraid. To try it again was asking a lot. But then I told myself the next day I would have to go for it. So I saddled up, got on my skis, and repeated to myself “I can do this. I can do this,” until I yelled, “Hit it!” and the boat took off.
And you know what? I popped right up! And I went around the lake, no problem. Despite my lack of practice; despite the new driver and the new boat; despite the different skis; despite the extra eyes on me; despite the fear of falling–I did it anyway.
On that first run, I did not try to go out of the wake. The next day though, I choose to flex my “I Can Do This” muscle again. With confidence I went in and out of the wake. It was easy! And fun! I wanted to ski every day. My confidence had skyrocketed.
You see, we can choose to practice confidence and build it up.
So, this week, how are you going to flex your “I Can Do This” muscle?
Are you going to take the opportunity to do something new? Maybe sail, water ski, kayak, or swim? Finally text that person you have been afraid to text? Will you apply for that dream job or start your house search? Cook a new and daunting recipe or start a blog? Reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to hear what you think of, and I am here to cheer you on!
Just think of all the goodness we can achieve when we choose to practice confidence. The more we say “I Can Do This,” the more we can do with confidence. If you need help or accountability, I am here to help! It can be hard to build that muscle alone, so a cheerleader and coach can make all the difference!
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