I want to dive. End it all. Take my breath away. Go under the water, where no one else can hear, where they cannot hear my screams. To go down to the bottom, untouched, heard by anyone. I scream aloud, for once like a dolphin, who is understood by sonar. I touch the bottom with my feet, staring at the bubbles as they pop, one by one. I see your reflection at the surface, at the top. So happy, stretched thin, unrealistically spread, distanced. The bubbles become less than, as I can feel their worry. I want to be where I belong, underneath. I resurface for the show because that is what they want. But I want to dive, die down, to the deep lengths of below. That is where I belong, underneath it all.