Today was another test, not one of epic proportion, but one that definitely derailed my peace. One where I’m preparing to head to yoga and then that stressful email comes in. I make a call to hurry up and fix the stressful thing. You know that feeling—the one where you just need to have control over this thing right now before you get to the next thing, which for me was my yoga mat. And then it rains on my outdoor yoga class, so now I have time to get back on the phone and try to fix the unfixable today.
I’ve seen this before and know this drill so well—and I’m a coach who works with highly motivated, successful people. I have plenty of experience helping others understand that we need to breathe, that we can’t control everything that happens to us every minute of every day. So much of my work involves creating lists of things you can control so that you can ditch that other, less important list. I have a wonderful collection of breathing exercises for those times you want to fix the unfixable.
Truthfully, I lost my cool today. I cried, even though the whole time I knew how to dig out. So, how did I quickly reel myself in, in the rain, still in fix-it mode? What do we do to just be?
Joy? How did I go from my former anxious self to a person who is learning to be Joy? I chose to be real. I chose to be brave enough to stop the self-created drama.
I took myself to Trader Joes to shop for Thanksgiving goodness. As I sat in the car, still on the phone getting nowhere, I started to feel calmer. I decided to slowly get myself out of the car and walk toward the store to reduce my anxiety. Can’t I enjoy myself a bit? Can’t I let go of this urgency I am creating? Is this truly urgent?
I unraveled my stress with only a few moments of self-talk. How serious is this? What is it costing me? What will I lose outside of this hour I’m giving away? As I walked into Trader Joes, I let it all go. Once I decided that all of this meant nothing in the big picture, nothing bad was going to come of this other than lost time and frustration, I practiced being Joy. I practiced being happily present and getting my spirit in holiday mode. I released the drama in my head.
I’ve learned that until we can feel joy in the midst of any scenario, we can’t get to be Joy. Be happy with what is right now. My recipe for being Joy? First, be real. By this, I mean being true to your inner voice, your weaknesses, your gifts, your true gut level of who you are and who you feel you are meant to be. Don’t hide. Secondly, be brave. Let your fears exist as part of who you are, but don’t let them own you or rule your choices. And last, visualize yourself as being unadulterated pure JOY.
Author: Susan J. Hilger
Author Bio: Founder of Susan J, a coach specializing in Personal Mastery work, an entrepreneurial and free spirit, innovator. Susan’s work is about supporting women to feel confident even when they’re uncomfortable by helping them to kick ass in business and in life. Change your mindset, change everything!
Link to website: http://www.susanjcoaching.com