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Relationships

Drowning

Next time I will be more cautious of who I let in. No longer letting prior nostalgia throw me into the deep end, abandoning me to drown with no remedies or medicine to help soothe the pain. In the past, I have had jokers trying to steal the very core of me. I have been poached ruthlessly by hunters and thieves and held captive by the wolves trying to assault me viciously. Leaving me battered and bruised searching for safety.

Life was bleak, rapidly becoming a passage that was indistinguishable. Liquor became my only release when the constant stream of tears would suffocate me. I would go out, night after night, sitting in a bar drinking away the memories of my past, submerging myself in the liquor, letting it numb me, putting me in a haze of intoxication where my memories couldn’t haunt me.

Then you emerge from a crowd, and in one night alter this young woman’s interpretations of what she thought love meant. You effortlessly vanquish the inner turmoil I was experiencing in my past. Extinguishing the eerie darkness with a pure light that only you seem to resonate. You completely immerse me in your presence. You provided me the coverage and affection that I’ve never held within my grasp. Molding together and embracing the broken, fragmented pieces of my past, showing me a pulsating depiction of what a soul-bearing connection should reflect.

Demonstrating with steady hands what real intimacy ought to be in this tainted world. Instead of running away from the demons trying to possess me, you demolished their hold, severing the beacon that was holding me to them. I tremble as you begin mending the broken little girl inside of me. Finally, letting her anguish fade, you refused to allow her agony to fester inside of me. You conveyed me back to life, with your truthfulness and honesty. Out of the grim darkness, the pure beam of sunlight that resonated was you. No longer am I drowning, for my lifeline is entangled in you.

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by TionaHSapphire

I am a proud graduate of two degrees, I am a daughter, I am a friend, but most importantly, I am flawed and beautifully me. I am an openminded individual with a unique spirituality that I will not compromise for anyone. Dwelling in my truth exposes and remedies the pain, joy, happiness, and scars that have manifested within me. Surviving different tribulations within my life helped me discover within myself the definition of realness, loyalty, and artistry. Embracing the bittersweetness that comes with living through my past and present experiences helped established a young black princess into the queen she is today.

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