Family and Motherhood

MY SISTER’S 21ST BIRTHDAY

I am currently failing miserably as I try to wrap a pretty, pink 21 champagne glass along with a Disney soft toy of the chicken Hei Hei from the Moana movie; the last one on the shelf at the Disney store which I purchased yesterday with a heavy heart and the all too familiar swelling in my throat that I routinely suppress in the hope that I can make it through the 12th of September without cracking too early.  The root of my heartache goes back 21 years, when I had just started primary school. I was five and my middle sister was three, and both of us excitedly awaited the arrival of the baby in mummy’s tummy, who would provide the much desired third addition to our princess/Barbie/make believe games.  I’ll spare my mother the haunting memories of my youngest sister’s birt...

MOTHERHOOD AND ITS INTENSE CHALLENGES

Being a mother is a wonderful experience and the closest thing to a miracle that women get to experience. But if you are a first-time mother, there are aspects of motherhood that might scare you or at least replace some of your excitement with concern. This can be avoid if you stay informed and know what to expect from such an experience. Let’s go through some of the most common struggles that mothers go through in their first phase of motherhood. 1. Postpartum Depression and Anxiety You have spent 9 months carrying your baby inside of you and as soon as you give birth to them, you might have to face a bunch of emotional changes that will affect you to the extent of depression. However, even if many mothers face this challenge, you don’t have to be a sure victim. If you keep your mind occu...

HOW MY MOM RAISED (OR DIDN’T RAISE) ME WHILE BATTLING DEPRESSION

I realized I was just like my mom when my husband had his first panic attack. Driving through the city, he had to stop, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and take over, thinking about how dramatic he was being, downplaying his emotions, his terror, his sheer, brain-zapping panic.  That’s what she was, my mom. That’s what she did. Other’s emotions were too much, or not enough. Too complicated or oversimplified. She was always too busy or too overbearing, hovering or hiding.  I learned to deal with my emotions alone. I learned to walk softly, speak little and make myself small.  She wouldn’t call me for three months and then threaten to come beat down my door to “make sure I was okay” after she decided to text me during the work day, and I didn’t respond within 60 seconds. There was never...

SOMETIMES I HEAR MY MOTHER

My mom always told me I could be a writer, but she never taught me to stand up for myself.  She always told me I had to go to college, but she never explained the difference between love and sex.  I can’t count the number of times she yelled that I had no common sense, but she never asked about my homework.  She mastered the art of a guilt trip, but could never quite figure out how to ask me how my day was.  Sometimes when I sing out loud, her voice comes out. It’s one of the few things from my past that comforts me. To young ears she sang like an angel. I loved hearing her sing.  Now sometimes when I sing out loud, I hear her voice, like picking up scraps of my past, picking through the detritus left on the ground, piece by piece, and choosing which parts to shovel into the trash. I want ...

PREGNANT, BUT NOT INCAPABLE

Struggling with body image issues is common. Bullying, body-shaming and “fitspiration” have changed the game for women everywhere. It’s not enough to be skinny, you have to be strong, you have to prove you work for it and you have to document it. Pregnancy is no exception. I have heard so many stories from women I work with, who got pregnant and just gave in and enjoyed eating extra calories, indulging in cravings constantly and sending their significant others out for pickles and ice cream at 10 p.m. I’ve also seen so many women on social media who stay super fit throughout their entire pregnancy, wearing tiny shorts and sports bras, with bodies worth envy 30 weeks in.   I found out I was pregnant during the CrossFit Open – a five-week period in late winter when CrossFitters from all over...

LULLABY FOR MOM

When did you first feel like a grown-up? When you graduated college? When you got married? Bought a house? Had a baby? Not me. Adulthood sucker-punched me at age 53, when I had to make decisions about my elderly mom. Mom was a formidable woman. She came from a poor Cuban family of 11 children, the middle child in a family where the four girls were significantly less important than the seven boys. It’s sobering to be faced with the raw realization that you are a witness to your parent’s entire life. No, you weren’t there for all of it, but you heard the stories about her youth, how she was teased by her siblings, how she had to walk for miles to get to school in shoes resoled with cardboard, the heartbreaks that defined her. You begin to uncover the mystery that is the most influential pers...

YOU ARE

After you took your life, Mom gave me your goldfish bowl. You filled it with shells and stones and one silver medallion, and everything in the tank was balanced just so. A large moon snail shell sat by the front, bottom left, upon two flat stones. These assorted tide-swept artifacts were once scattered across your table. I could imagine you working with thoughtful intention while Fela Kuti’s singing sailed through your stereo speakers. I carried the bowl gingerly back to my house and placed it on the kitchen table. Soon I knew how to carefully touch one of the shells with just my fingertip, without disturbing the arrangement. And I would think, “We’re close to each other again.” So much beauty in one bowl. Concentric ridges in the clam shells resembled whipped cream spread on a tiny pie. G...

HOW TO REMAIN SANE WHEN YOUR CHILD IS A MONSTER

My daughter Juliana is deep into her terrible twos. In fact, it feels like she has been two for about 10 years now. Her 4-year-old sister, Clarabella, gave us the false impression that caring for babies and toddlers is easy (ha!).  When Clarabella was two, she would read quietly by herself for an hour or more, and loved to walk around cleaning the walls with baby wipes. Those walls are now decorated daily with food, crayons, and…well, I don’t even know what this stain is. While our home was once filled with the melodic sounds of Raffi and story time on the rug, there is now a cacophony of piercing screams, crashes, toys hurled at the wall, crying, and the occasional evil laughter. And I am losing my shit. I have always been sensitive to sound. In a chaotic and noisy environment, I feel cla...

NEVER REALLY THERE

I never liked Father’s Day for the sheer fact that it often fell on my birthday, and that was a day I never liked to share. The first time I remember it happening, I was 12 and I was forced to go spend the day with my Dad, Mom and younger brother at a friend of my Dad’s house for a cookout. As we all know, 12 is a big age to be accepted by your peers, and birthdays were a big time to shine. I liked being the center of attention and hated that I had to share my day with a man who was absent most of my life. Growing up, my Dad worked a lot. He was successful so it always seemed fine that he wasn’t around much. I was able to do things that I wanted to do and overall had a good childhood. My Mom did all of the everyday parenting, including taking my brother and I to school, p...

THE HUMAN FAMILY

We Homo sapiens aka humans, are the most complex creation of the God or the Universe. We are different perhaps in race, gender, ethnicity, religious practices but when we were born, we were born a human first. We are complex in thinking yet our hearts sing songs of kindness, Our love and respect for each other beats negativity and toxicity that may arise. We all belong to one family above all, The Human Family. We Love, Laugh, Sing, Dance, Cry, Eat, Pray and Live together. Let us Love, Laugh, Live the life to the fullest. Let us Share Happiness and Kindness as much as we can. After all, We are all one family, the Human Family.     Author: Anisha K Chhetri Email: anishakhadka@icloud.com  Your Bio: *From Virginia...

MONSTER MIND

When we are young we believe we are invincible. It’s only when we are adults that we realise how fragile life is and how much we value it, but more importantly how necessary we are to those dependent on us. The children we bring into the world are fully reliant on us, and we need to be healthy, strong and available for them. Last week at the beach, this hit home. I was standing in the queue to buy an ice cream for my son when my eyes caught the sight of a young lady around my age. She was asking for a first aid box as she had hurt her hand. I saw that she looked faint and pale. I asked if she was ok, she nodded but something inside me urged me to go and check up on her again. She wasn’t well. She was sitting down on a chair in front of the kiosk, a lady was standing next to her trying to c...

MY FIRST TIME | EMBRACING THE AWKWARDNESS

“Please remove all your clothes and put this robe on. You can just set the sheet on your lap. Dr. Lee will be right with you.” I nod my head and wait for the door to close before I begin to slide my dress off. I hope everything is normal; good thing I’m not on my period; is it weird that I shaved or does that make it seem like I care too much. I try to shake away all the thoughts racing through my mind and my eyes skim across a poster about getting tested for STDs. Below the poster are brochures and pamphlets about everything I didn’t know about my own body. *knock, knock* The door cracks open and then HE walks in. Many women despise going to the OB/GYN – the anxiety, the awkwardness, the vulnerability…the cold hands. I was nervous already, but upon learning that my doctor was ...

  • 1
  • 2
  • 4

Lost Password

Register

sensation
sensation
sensation
sensation