Fear as a Friend

Have you ever really wanted to do something, but feel like something inside you is holding you back? Maybe it’s traveling abroad or taking a cooking class. Making art. Going after a dream.

You really want this thing. You know you’ll be good at it or it’ll be transformational, or maybe you’ve always daydreamed about it.

No matter how badly you want it, every time you almost do it, you freak out. A voice inside you rejects the idea. “I can’t do that because of X.” It’s scary, dangerous, risky. “What will people think?”

I’ve learned that everyone hears this. It’s called resistance. It’s the part of you that wants to protect you. That sees change as a negative thing and convinces you (sometimes with nonsensical logic) to stay where you are. Because where you are is safe, according to resistance.

Resistance has good intentions. But it doesn’t know what you know. It isn’t aware of how much you want the thing (whether it’s bungee jumping or switching careers). It just sees change as bad and sticking with where you are as good.

Once we realize that resistance is normal and expected, we can anticipate it. So, look for it the next time you’re thinking about booking that trip to Bali or applying for that dream job. Do you feel the resistance? Maybe it’s saying, “this isn’t the right time” or “this is really risky.”

When you hear resistance pipe up, notice it. Right before you hit “submit” on that dream, listen for resistance.

And then reason with it. My reasoning usually goes something like this, “Resistance, thank you for looking out for me. I appreciate you wanting to keep me safe, but this is something I really want to do because…” Because it’s the dream I’ve been dreaming since I was five. Or because I think I can really make a difference if I go for it.

Has resistance ever held you back? Let me know! And what about a change you want to make now? Can you look out for resistance? Reach out to me at liesl@lieslcoaching.com. I’d love to hear how it comes up for you. And of course, I’m here to cheer you on!

Like this post? View similar content here: My worst enemy is me and that’s okay

by liesl.drought@gmail.com

A cocktail and travel enthusiast, I'm also a career and life coach. I help young professionals live more and worry less so they can appreciate the little things while welcoming ease into their lives.


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