I found home in the most unexpected place. A place that was a whim decision coming off some of the toughest months of my life. During a time the world was spinning and all I could do was brace for impact. After holding on for dear life — Austin just seemed like a last ditch effort. A why the hell not. A fuck it lets do it. A might as well. A what do we have to lose.
When you live in a constant state of “how is this my life” and not in the good way. I’m talking like you wake up just defeated at where life has lead. Holding all your emotions in because when they finally do come out they’ll be no way of reeling it in. When you’re walking on eggshells because you can’t trust anyone around you. When the world you thought to be true was all a facade. It’s crippling. It leaves you standing in the wind, watching the storm heading your way with nowhere to go. That’s what the months, year, was like before Austin.
Austin was the rainbow after the storm. Liberating. A safe landing. It was everything I hadn’t expected but exactly what I needed. Austin became the home I didn’t even know I was missing.
Home for me before Austin was kind of an unknown. My hometown is the biggest city in the world. New York City. Growing up I thought it was the place for me. After moving away from the city and then years later going back with a different view. I realized not only is it lonely, but it’s not home. Nothing felt comforting. I did come to find there were places where I found peace in the city. Where my mind and heart were able to let their guard down. It just wasn’t the place that, as a kid, I considered home. Moving to Austin was surprising in the way that it was the last place I would have ever thought I’d find comfort and yet it was the place that I did.
Never had I thought a place could be healing, but I was wrong. Because Austin healed me. Gave me hope, safety, security, adventure, memories, laughter. It gave me peace. And of all the places it was the one that I hadn’t expected it from. Austin made me whole in many ways, filled gaps that I had no idea were missing. Those wide open skies with its cotton candy sunsets, the open country roads, its beaming sun. Those are the things I crave and think of when I picture home.