Finding life in death

It isn’t death itself that is heart wrenching

It is watching someone you love go through pain and suffering, the days leading up to the time of passing

The year’s go by and talking about someone who died becomes easy.. it’s the stories when they were alive that brings you back to the heavy heart and tear soaked faces

Memories of watching them lose life force in a hospital.. the place that is suppose to give you health seems to be a place that dims your light the most.

Watching someone lose their mobility, hair, pigment of their skin, the warmth you felt when you held them against you, watching someone lose themselves in a sickness is the fucking worst, because in death.. oh i was it with my own eyes, i felt it within myself, when i lost my sister. There’s peace and a stillness, a moment where silence is silent, and you feel acceptance, knowing she wasn’t going to be in pain ever again. She is free. She is me. She is love. She is light. And that night, i felt my sister become who she truly was, an angel.

by Lumina.ray

I write to process, to heal, to move through life with a little bit of grace, to stop living in my head, to find power in vulnerability - thankfully with editing tools, unlike real life.

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