So many people can do things to you and around you. It is at times easy to forgive others. However, it is and has not been easy to forgive myself. Not forgiving myself, as in ignoring what happened to me in the past.
Forgiveness looks like accepting where you are, knowing that you’ve come so far. Forgiving what was done to me and around me, knowing that it was not my fault.
I also have to forgive myself because we tend to be harder on ourselves then the next person. I had, so my expectation of myself and to see where I am is slightly disappointing. But at the same time, I survived sexual trauma, divorce, a loss of a child and many other things. However, the biggest thing in this paragraph is the word survived. I’m still standing which is nothing but amazing.
The truth is, I’m still here and I have a whole life ahead of me. I’ve allowed myself to stay in this space of ‘I’m not there yet.’ Because of that, it seems as if I don’t move at all. I’ve completed one degree and am working on my second. With that, I still don’t feel accomplished. I feel beyond stuck and I truly want to get out of this hole.
The first step is forgiveness. I forgive me for allowing people in my space that have not shown me purpose. I forgive me for not putting me first instead of others. It’s okay where I am and I’m still growing and evolving.
It’s time to keep moving and growing in order to get out of this funk. Any ideas would be much appreciated.