Friendships > Relationships.

According to Urban Dictionary, GIRL CODE #19 Chicks before d*cks.


What does that really mean? Why do we always seem to diss our friends over guys that are, 9 times out of 10, temporary? To me, friends are the family that you get to choose. You tell them your deepest secrets, you show them sides of you that your family doesn’t see. The sitcom show “Friends” made maintaining friendships look easy. Which it is, when you’re dealing with people who hold your friendship at the same level as you.

 Ever since I was a young child, I always remembered how highly I appreciated my friends. When I was in grade school, I had a group of girl friends. From having a singing and dancing group to 3-way calling each others boo’s to see if they liked our friend; we were friendship goals. I’ve stayed in touch with mostly all of those girls. One of those girls I had some weird vibes from when we were older because she began to act, how do you say it, brand new. We would hang out and all be cool, but the second other people came around she acted as if she was too good to hang out with us. The jokes that we would tell would suddenly be corny, the nail color we had wasn’t tasteful. You ever had a friend like that? A boy is around and now all of a sudden my hair has split ends and my lips are chapped. Damn girl, couldn’t tell me that earlier? When we were in the house taking selfies for Instagram? 


I kept it cool for a few, but ultimately, had to cut her off. You just broke Girl Code #23: Never insult your friend, but never let your friend leave the house looking hideous. Fast forward, and what? Yeah, you guessed it. She wanted to be friend again. Giiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrlllllll, BYE. Let’s be friends again for what? So we can pretend that you didn’t shade to impress a boy that isn’t around anymore?  I’m gud luv, enjoy. 

I’ve always had a girl friends group. My mom is always tells me stories about her and my aunts (AKA her childhood friends – if you’re Hispanic, you can relate). I’ve always been fond of saying “nights that we won’t remember with the people that we won’t forget” (I had a Facebook Album titled this). I had a friend that was like my sister. No, not like the regular ShE wAs LiKe My SiStEr … like slept at my house nights on end. She got a boyfriend who H A T E D M E.

For what reason? Nope, it wasn’t because I encouraged the bad antics, because I’m not the friend to just yes you because you’re my friend; I’m gonna tell you when you’re not making the best decisions. That’s another story for another article, but long story short, we stopped speaking and they live/lived (honestly not sure), happily ever after. Now it’s even wackier because she was breaking “girl code,” even throughout the last couple of months of our friendship. She would invite her boyfriend to our girl nights, tell her boyfriend things we shared in confidence with her – it was BAD. But nonetheless here we are, another bad vibe gone. You broke.

Girl Code: #14 The penalty for exposing a secret to an unauthorized party shall be exile from Girlville. #16 Inside jokes are not to be explained to outsiders. #27 When said evening is described as a “Girls’ Night Out” that means it is for GIRLS ONLY. And that’s only 3 off the top of my head. 

I’m sure we’ve all been in that place where we’ve had to cut a friend off because she was acting weird; she was just being a bad friend in general, or because her boyfriend hated you. The point is, our friends are the people we make our fondest memories with. You’ll want to be able to tell your kids stories like “Your Tia Fulana and I went to the movies one time and …”

Now, of course I’m not saying that you should choose your friends over your boyfriend at all times. But you don’t want to be 20 years in married with no friends? Of course, your boyfriend will take up most of your energy, and they’ll become a bigger priority than you; do ya thaaanggg, girl! But you can’t, well shouldn’t, just diss your friends like that.

Friends are the ones you call over when your family dog dies. Friends are the ones you call when you had a terrible nail tech, the ones you call when that girl at work almost had you lose your sh*t. They’re there for you when your boys make you cry; so why is it that the second that they make us smile we turn our backs on our friends? 

by chelseagm7

Hi! I’m Chelsea.
Born and raised in Bronx, NY. I’m 23 years old. I never really had an outlet to vent to, that’s when writing came in to play. To take words and elevate them into feelings is art.

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