Girl, let me tell you… Being soft is harder than I thought

Stepping into the power of femininity, or trying to…

Aud Culture was inspired by black women, their strength, beauty and femininity. However, I confess to you, here and now, that it’s easy for me to celebrate femininity in other women, and remind them to step into their power, but the struggle is real for me.

As someone who has a lot of masculine energy, being soft is not something I do or am good at (but I’m working on it). In 2020, I challenged myself. Well Spirit challenged me, to walk in my feminity. Don’t get me wrong, I have moments where I feel safe enough to stand in that power, but most times I feel an innate need to protect her. To protect that softness. I used to think that softness meant weakness. I was wrong.

I came to a realization this week with the help of my sister-friend, Aisha.

After my miscarriage, I disconnected with all things feminine because in my head, I couldn’t do the one thing a woman were empowered to do – create life – and that realization blew my mind.

It hurt, bad. So after I was done crying and snotting, Aisha spoke healing into me. I realized with her help that my miscarriage had nothing to do with my divine feminine.

As a black woman, most times we don’t get to be soft, we don’t get to be feminine and if we are its always on the stronger, less demure, harder side of femininity. Carrying that for 37 years, while witnessing that in most of the black women surrounding me for 37 years was fucking exhausting. It’s time to put that down.

So, the Step into Your (Feminine) Power Challenge started for me, and it’s been transformational mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I’m excited about the ride.

Big Love to Aisha for holding my hand.

You are loved, valued and appreciated.

by hiimrowan

A creative kid from Brooklyn, who has always had a story to tell, whether my own or those of the women around me.


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