Happiness isn’t always found through just romance. I wish I had learned this at a young age, but as someone who grew up on fairy tales and happily-ever-after’s—with stories of Prince Charmings rescuing the Princess—my young adult reality of relationships soon became twisted and distorted. And for seven years, I fooled myself into thinking my first very serious, on and off rollercoaster-ride-of-a-relationship was continuously worth fighting for. I just HAD to have that happily-ever-after. I was young; I was naïve. Simply put, I was too passive. To outsiders, my relationship probably seemed somewhat normal. But not all relationships are truly what they seem. In fact, mine was extremely toxic, and my past partner’s unhappiness and constant cynicism would drag me down throughout the years. All I wanted was to feel loved, but throughout majority of it I was pushed away. And the warm and fuzzy love I so desired was often hot and cold, and replaced with “tough love.”
It was when I took a leap of faith to head back to school to pursue my degree in creative writing, and I was left shaken after a very bad argument in our relationship a few months prior, that something inside of me clicked and I realized I needed to finally save myself and break free. The love I thought I had felt for this person for so long had withered away by then; starting two and a half years ago with the time he cheated on me and tried to push me away because I wasn’t changing and doing enough for myself and for him. I blamed myself and told myself I should have just let go of him then. At the time, I just couldn’t. But everything happens for a reason.
Now, a year and a half later after ending things with this past partner, I have accomplished so much for myself. I have found love and happiness once more in new and old things. I am shining; I am glowing like I’ve never glowed before. Going back to school helped me realize that I needed to surround myself with people that are there to lift me up and are mentally happy in their lives and with themselves. Happiness is found in doing the things we love and surrounding ourselves with amazing and genuine people that accept all our little imperfections, without any ego and attitude problems. For years, I tolerated so much negativity and harsh criticism from people that made me feel like I could never be good enough for their worlds. All I wanted to do was please these toxic people. Freeing myself from an unhappy long relationship where I was convinced that’s as good as it was going to get, when really, it wasn’t, is the best decision I’ve ever done for myself. It wasn’t easy, but I am simply thankful for what it did teach me. Although toxic, that relationship taught me to fight for myself and to strive for so much more. Most of all, taking that leap of faith and going back to school is what truly saved my soul.
Author: Nicolette Michelle
Author Bio: Nicolette Michelle is a part-time fashion and lifestyle blogger, freelance photographer, and creative writing student based in Los Angeles. She enjoys a good cup of coffee and believes in living a colorful life surrounded by the things she loves.
Link to social media or website: https://nicomichelleblog.wordpress.com/ https://www.instagram.com/nicomichelle/