I know the day she left
I just don’t know what time
Where did she go?
I don’t miss her
I don’t even know how she left
She was there
I swear she was there
And then she wasn’t
When I think back, I feel saddened by her
People didn’t stay
People stayed away
People moved out
She was just there
So alone
I didn’t know what to do
I should’ve shown up sooner
I just didn’t know how to help her
Or where to start
I came across her briefly every now and again
She just passed by though
I was such a small thought she had
She wanted to live like I did
She wanted to be me
She just didn’t know how to get there
So she gave up
Where did she end up?
Where did she go?
She’s not coming back
She’s not
I won’t let her
I don’t want her here
She’s too far gone
I’m already here
She was wrong
I had to lose her
I abandoned her
I never came back for her
She was so there
She was so her
Where did she go?
She’s right here
She is me
But I’m not her
Author: Michelle Hout
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: I am a Christian. I am a happily married mother of twins and reside in Massillon, OH. I spent seven long years self-destructing as an alcoholic. Thankfully, I have spent the past year and a half sober. On September 26, 2016, I changed. Finally, it was over. My submission is a conversation depicting the question of where my old self is now, and how unwelcome she is to return. Sobriety divides people, and I wonder where the other half of went when I changed. Does that side of myself just die off; or is she lingering waiting for me to open the door for her to come back?
