Sometimes love doesn’t exactly turn out the way you wished it would. Things may not always work in your favor, and the timing always takes a toll in most love scenarios.
Picture this, you’re in a relationship, and you believe everything’s going great. You have the gut feeling that your relationship is the best in the entire universe.
However, your partner does not agree, or they may feel like they still need time to fully understand their feelings. Eventually, things do not go the right way in your relationship, and their feelings fade away.
You’re still in love with them, but you know things are never going back to what they once were. You finally conclude that the special person you once loved is not for you anymore and decide to let them go in peace.
But even after the separation, you have that tiny hope somewhere in the corner of your heart—they will return, so you decide to wait. It doesn’t matter if it hurts; the importance of your love for them feels much more significant.
Too relatable? Well, because all of us have stood in the same shoes at least once in our lifetime.
Before we tell you how you can stop waiting for someone you love, let us make some things clear:
- The little hope in your heart is not necessarily a bad thing (you just need to know how to keep it in check)
- You’re not a bad person for still wanting to be with them, the feelings in your heart matter
With that being said, we hope you know you’re not alone in this and that you’ll get through it with some help.
We’re here for just that, so let us start by first assuming a few situations where you should stop waiting for someone you love (It’s for your sake, trust us):
Scenario 1. They are in a relationship but are also involved with you.
Nothing could be as red in color as this severe red flag. If the person you’re in love with is already in a relationship with someone else, while being romantically involved with you:
Cut. Them. Off.
Situations like these can get extremely complicated and tricky, especially if you’re emotionally or physically involved with them. In cases like this, the person may lure you with words and the promise of a potential relationship but may always disappoint you when showing it with their actions.
It’s best to know that even if they were to break up, there is no guarantee they won’t do to you what they were doing to their previous partner.
Scenario 2. You’re waiting for them to break up with their current partner.
No, no, and absolutely no!
Please never do this.
When you’re waiting for someone to break up with their partner, you’re missing out on someone that you might actually be compatible with. Love is a game of chance, and if you waste all opportunities of meeting incredibly lovely people by waiting for someone unworthy, you could be waiting for a long time. Or maybe even forever.
The point is, if you’re in love with someone who’s in a relationship, you shouldn’t be waiting for them to break up because who knows how long you’re going to wait? Instead, use this time exploring the world of unique and beautiful people living right across the street. Find them, even if it takes time, and choose healthy love!
Scenario 3. If they’re taking a “break” from their relationship and seeing you
A lot of couples tend to “take a break” from their relationship to figure many things out or simply because they need some time away from each other. They may or may not be in touch with each other during this time, but we’ll say—don’t take a chance.
If they’re on a break but still seeing each other, there is always a tiny probability of them getting back together in a few days or weeks. You don’t want to be involved with someone on a break because if they get back with their partner, you’ll be left heartbroken with waiting eyes.
Perhaps, if they have ended things because they realized their feelings for you, go right ahead and grab them! Still, ensure that they’re fully over their previous relationship first before showering them with your delicate love.
Scenario 4. They’re single, but are not willing to commit.
Some people want the perks of being in a relationship without actually committing to one. This shows in actions like refusing to call you their significant other or referring to you as a “friend” in private or public places.
These people may refuse the total commitment of a relationship but may demand to be treated as though you would treat your significant other. When you find yourself in a situation like this, run in the opposite direction! We mean this with our entire energy.
In such scenarios, sometimes their intentions could be good because some people would not want to hurt you by rejecting you. But these good intentions could also cost you a lot in the long run, so don’t take that chance.
These were some situations when you shouldn’t be waiting for someone you love, among many others. While waiting for someone may sound very romantic, it can also be toxic on many levels.
How to stop waiting for someone you love?
Here are some positive ways to find your self worth and stop waiting for someone you love:
The first step you can take to stop waiting for someone you love is to accept that things have changed. When you accept the situation and see it for what it is, you give yourself the power to move on and understand that this too shall pass.
Acceptance may not always be easy, and it may even take a while. But do yourself a favor and accept that things aren’t the way you want them to be. Acceptance helps a lot in understanding your feelings and moving on from someone.
Quit checking up on them
When you’re constantly checking up on them or what they’re up to, you’re doing more damage to your healing process than you realize. Distancing yourself may be challenging, but it is a good way to stop waiting for someone.
It will also aid the acceptance you need to move on from someone you once loved. Once you’ve done all your healing, maybe the two of you can become friends, but now is not the right time for it.
Resist the urge to keep in touch and text or call them all the time because you know it wouldn’t do you any good.
Stop talking about them
We know when you’re trying to stop waiting for someone, it isn’t the easiest thing to distract yourself. You might find yourself constantly thinking about them or even talking about them to your friends.
While talking may help to a certain extent, talking about them constantly will not be very helpful in healing your wound. It might even do the job of scrapping an old wound at times.
When you’re struggling to find yourself, it is easier to fall into the endless cycle of waiting for someone. Finding yourself could mean accepting all your flaws, past mistakes, and even strengths and virtues.
If you need to take breaks from the hustle and take a vacation, do that. Do anything you need to do to find who you were before you loved the person you’re waiting for now.
Work on yourself
Working on yourself can look different for different people, but for the most part, it may mean working to improve your skills and strengths.
If you know you’re good at something, work towards improving that skill and invest more time in yourself. Slowly, you will keep getting better as a person, and you will have more value for yourself. You will be your first priority, and you would prefer to go after things that bring you the pleasure of living life.
Find new things you like
Find a new hobby or something you like doing. Go crazy after different sports and arts, and learn what interests you the most. This will keep your mind distracted and help you feel better.
It could be a cooking class or simply learning how to paint; spending quality time with yourself is the key to learning your soul better and improving yourself.
Spend time with family and friends
Your family and friends are your support circle, and they are where you can find yourself being most “you.” Spending time with family will help you realize how loved and appreciated you are.
Spending time with your friends can help remind you how much fun you can have even without that person you’re waiting for.
Put yourself out there for new romantic experiences.
Putting yourself out there means doing it entirely and not just for its sake.
When you know you’re ready to see someone new, make sure you actively make an effort to go out and find them. Constantly crying and just hoping you would find someone new while staying home doesn’t sound like a good idea to look for a soulmate.
Make the efforts it takes to find that special, crafty, and beautiful crystal hidden in a pile of stones.
Take it slow
Give yourself the time to heal and take things as they come. Don’t go overboard with trying to distract yourself by socializing and meeting new people. You want to make sure you’re completely over the person you were waiting for before moving on to someone new.
Take your time in getting to know people and enjoy the process. Don’t rush it simply because you’re trying to take your mind off that one person. Let things happen naturally; you will love how good there is in the universe.
“Comparison is a thief of joy.”
When you’re trying to move on and finally gather the courage to go out with someone new, don’t compare them to the person you’re “waiting” for.
People are very different in the way they are or even in the way they love. So when you’re seeing someone new, don’t look for the old in them! Instead, learn new things from this new lover and live an undiscovered romantic experience.
View love as a journey and not a destination
In simpler words, you must understand that love comes with time, and you must be careful to enjoy things while they’re happening at the moment.
Let go of what things “could have been” with the person you’re waiting for if you wish to make things easier for yourself. Think of it this way, every time you hesitate to let go of someone you once loved, after them, you’re one person closer to finding your soulmate!
Quit playing the blame game
Often we’re quick to blame ourselves for the way things turned out to be in a relationship. Let us tell you this: You could not have done anything different to make things better. What you did and how much you did was enough.
Silence the thoughts of “Maybe, I wasn’t good enough” or “I could have done more.” You did your best at the time, and it’s time to let go now. You don’t want to blame them either; trust that they, too, did their best at the time.
Reflect on the relationship you shared
Were things really as good as you’re seeing them now? Were you really as happy as you think you were in that relationship? Are you placing that person on a pedestal simply because you love them?
Reflect on these questions and answer them realistically. Sometimes, we often view things as what they weren’t because of what we wanted them to be. This isn’t the most healthy thing to do when waiting for someone you love.
Navigate your feelings
How are you feeling when you think of that person you’re waiting for? How do they make you feel?
Navigate through your feelings and make sure to comprehend them. Feeling your emotions and accepting them is a good way of taking things for what they are and not what they “could be.”
While feelings can be overwhelming, doing the work and navigating through them can be very beneficial in understanding why you should stop waiting for someone you love.
Understand your attachment style
Attachment styles are how we emotionally connect with the people around us or form relationships. There are mainly four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.
You may reflect on your previous relationships to better understand your relationship patterns and attachment styles. It could be that you’re struggling to move on because your attachment style is insecure. To become your best and most secure self is to work on yourself and put yourself first.
Believe you’re capable of loving other people.
It may seem like you won’t be able to find someone you love that much, but you will. Things happen, relationships end, and people move on. There’s nothing wrong with that.
For many people, it may temporarily seem like you’re not capable of loving someone the way you loved the person you’re waiting for. Trust us that is never the case. You will be able to love someone else, and maybe even more than before.
The energy of your love will keep elevating when your partner embraces your feelings and offers the same level of commitment. You’re yet to experience this kind of love, so never lose hope!
Be intelligent when picking people you share your life with so you never get stuck with someone who doesn’t deserve you.
Be kind to yourself.
Learning to unlove someone is a slow process, and it requires a lot of patience and strength. If you’re here reading this article to find “how to stop waiting for someone you love,” you’re willing to do the work, and we admire that. So if no one has told you this today, we’re here to tell you that we’re proud of you.
It may get easy to blame yourself and be unkind to yourself, but you must stay strong and be compassionate. Talk to yourself kindly and make sure your head is an excellent place to live in. After all, you spend a whole lifetime there.
Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of your feelings, thoughts, emotions, and actions as and when they happen. In simpler words, it could mean being present in the moment.
Mindfulness is not an easy practice and comes with time, but you must learn it and master it. It helps you stay grounded and better understand what you can do in situations where you’re required to be calm and present.
As cliche as it sounds, self-care is not always doing skincare or going on a vacation. Even something as small as laying in bed for an extra hour simply because you’re tired can count as self-care.
You must understand what you need to heal and do just that, as it can do wonders in learning to love yourself.
Seek professional help
Talking to a mental health professional is viewed as the last resort to any problems, but it shouldn’t be. Trained professionals can help you navigate your feelings and emotions and better understand yourself.
It is okay to seek help as trained professionals help you face your issues in rational ways.
Getting yourself to stop waiting for someone you love is not a walk in the park, but we believe in you!
Moving on from someone when you want things to work out is tough, and we understand. Take your time and continue your healing process. While it may not be easy, it’s not impossible.
Focusing on yourself and taking care of your own soul plays a significant role in moving on from someone. Try new things, be kind to yourself and understand that loving someone may not always bring the best; it is okay.
Love is a game of chance, and if things don’t work out, understand that it’s probably for the best and that you’re deserving of everything you’re looking for.
Believe wonderful things are in store for you as you work towards becoming the better version of yourself every day. This way, you’ll be able to attract only the good things, and we’re sure of that!
Please reach out if you’re still struggling, as help is always available. Remember, talking about it to a professional will only make you feel stronger and help you through your difficulties.
And also, love yourself a little extra today; you deserve it!