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Art and Poetry

I’M FINE

fine

I’m fine as I keep on saying

When I know for sure that’s a lie

I smile and continue on with that mentality of “Smile! Stay Positive!”

When down inside, this numb feeling of lost and confusion that I can’t still seem to figure out

To know that I still loved you

Even with the shit that you said

Or the actions that were poorly portrayed

When people didn’t even have the time or decency to get to know who you were on the inside and out

When I saw potential in you and that I still see you have potential to this day

As a person who cares

I do hope your life is going well and for you to be successful

I might be doing lit but there’s always obstacles that come into the way

It’s not like I’ve come to the realization that I’m a sexual object regardless of what I’m wearing or how I am

That the only reason why 90% of guys are interested in me is because my body and only want me for sex and move onto some other trick out there

That I’ve been trying to keep myself sane and healthy

To keep myself psyched out of what happened to me on September 20, 2016

And how that horrified me completely and I still get anxiety because of that

When I just want to fall apart

I don’t act like the victim or the always pity person just because

The real reason why I’m saying all of this is because I am in pain

It may not show it on the outside, but in… I still feel like a piece of shit

Don’t ask why I feel that way

Loads of things are consuming me and I end up crying all this pain out

And just when you think all that pain is gone, it’s back here to bite me in the ass as usual

And yet I keep this smile on my face to tell you personally that I’m fine

 

Author: Denise Kollock
Email: denisekollock1997@gmail.com
Author Bio: Denise Kollock is a university student who loves to write poetry and stories. She’s currently studying English, with a concentration in Creative Writing and minoring in Gender & Sexuality Studies. You can check out her two books “Words of Emotion and Experience” and “Words of Words” on Amazon, Ebay, Barnes & Noble, etc.
Link to social media or website: http://www.twitter.com/DeniseKollock

 

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I am a university student who's majoring in English, with a concentration in Creative Writing & a minor in Gender & Sexuality Studies. Alone from writing, I like to play video games, hang out with my family and friends and try to be productive as much possible.

2 Comments

  1. Denise, your article was amazing and I am sure there are other ladies out there that relates to this in a deeper level. You showed emotion and tension through your words. So proud to see you how far you come.

    Reply
    • Thank you Della!! ❤️ I really appreciate it!

      Reply

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