Calm down. That was just a door slamming.
It’s just a bag of chips. Why am I so jumpy?
It consumes my every breath.
Sometimes I don’t even know it.
All it takes
The tiniest out of place noise
and I freeze
And the adrenaline pumps.
And the heart races.
I wish that all of my friends were with me in the classroom.
I fear that they would become fish in a barrell
Easy prey for the bullets.
I wish that my brother wasn’t at school.
I can’t watch him all day
I can’t make sure that he’s safe.
And it’s maddening.
The few moments during the day that I’m able to forget
Are constantly interrupted
footsteps going too quick down the hall
laughing that sounds like screams of terror
Any announcement that comes over the loudspeaker
Chip bags popping
And when I get home
I’m always overjoyed that we’ve all survived the day
Now we’re safe
But then darkness falls
And I keep telling myself that I am at home
No one is coming to get us.
So I get up the next morning
And I do it all again.