I know you’ve seen the posts on every social media site telling you that during this time, if you aren’t being productive, you never lacked time, you lacked discipline. Don’t succumb to what they’re saying. They’re applying a pressure on you that is unnecessary. Things are scary right now.
I can say for certain, I am not ok. I’ve been quarantined for about 3 weeks now and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, however, there’s just a cloud flowing over me. Every time I turn my TV on, I hear about the virus that’s going around, every scroll down social media I read about people dying, reading about politics. It’s draining. I CANNOT DEAL. I can only put up a front for so long. It makes me feel 10x worse because I feel like I have to productive, like I have to have something to show for all this idle time. Not to be a Debbie downer, but how can I be so happy and be so productive when I have people in my family dealing with the virus? When I’m unemployed and worried about the kids that I work with? When I can’t go outside to visit any of my close friends or family? When I know my father knows what’s going on in the world and he doesn’t bother to reach out? How? To be productive, you have to be in the right head space. I’m not. I’m tired. Tired of being made to feel lazy because I don’t feel right.
ITS OK NOT TO BE OK.
I’ve been taking this time to put things into perspective. Taking this time to be to myself. Falling in love with everything that I use to love so much- including myself. I’ve been learning that the more you pressure you apply on yourself to “be productive”, the less productive you are. Take things slow. Take time to yourself. Read a book. Binge watch The Bold Type on Hulu (great show, by the way). Nap all day if you want to! WHO CARES? Whenever YOU feel like you’re ready to do something, then that’s when you do it! Whatever you produce when you are not in the wrong headspace, is not going to be your best work. You produce your best work when you’re happy, when your brain doesn’t feel fuzzy- when you are ok. It’s ok not to be ok.