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Relationships

Letter to the Parent’s Ex

Dear Sharon, 

I wanted to take the time to reach out and personally thank you. Thank you for saving me. I did not realize it before, but Collin and I might have entered an extremely abusive marriage if you hadn’t intervened. Do I wish you had directly contacted me like a mature, respectable adult rather than randomly abducting my boyfriend, with whom I shared an apartment? Or at least allowed him to call me and break up with me himself over the phone? Even a simple text message from him. Just so the last words I heard from him weren’t, “I love you, Amanda, I will see you tonight.” Absolutely. If you had contacted me as soon as you saw him commit his repetitive, abusive behavior, you would have saved me from excruciating pain and trauma. However, I will always acknowledge that two years of abuse is much shorter than a lifetime. So again, I sincerely thank you. 

I apologize for my previous messages. When I had initially sent those, I could not understand how Collin had faked his love for me over the past two years. But fortunately, a lie that Collin told my little sister (of all people) came to the surface that is so untrue that I now understand why you “rescued” him. I can’t, nor want, to imagine the scope of lies he has been saying to everyone about me for the past two years. Or the lies about his past girlfriends, coworkers, friends, and family. I have now received all the clarity I need, and I am very excited to move on from this terrible, wicked, and toxic relationship. Your son has made me stronger, and I now carry the knowledge to remove myself from an abuser moving forward. 

I wish you and your family the best, and I sincerely mean no harm in this message. I am reaching out because I have the moral responsibility to protect other women. Similar to how I wish you would have protected me from Collin. It saddens me you never reached out to get my side of the story or tried to get to know me as a person. These simple actions would have allowed you to understand your son’s mental health issues and what went wrong in our relationship. I also wanted to call you many times due to my worry for Collin. However, Collin scared me too severely of the consequences of calling you; hence, I never reached out. So, woman to woman, I pray you are now capable of preventing Collin from abusing another woman (which sadly will be his 4th or 5th victim?) Please. I know this must be not easy to hear, mainly because it regards your son and how you raised him. But please, selflessly open your eyes now, not just for the sake of your son’s well being, but for other women. Women like you and women like me. 

Sincerely,

Amanda Giles

P.S.: Collin copes with his career issues and mental health by getting high and inhaling as much food as he can. Collin’s mini fridge was always stocked full of different beers, and he drank every night. I am sure you were already aware of this and what led to Collin’s 30-pound weight gain. But ultimately, I worked hard to help him lose those pounds through a healthy diet, exercise, and yoga, not because I cared about his physical appearance, but rather his mental health. I became genuinely concerned when I realized his BMI was .1 from being considered “obese.” Collin and I both agreed to start “Keto” and do more exercise. If you would like not to ruin his progress, I advise that you monitor his smoking, eating, and television time.

If you like this article, check out: https://www.harnessmagazine.com/the-freedom-being-a-woman/

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