” Lonely Soul “
I laid down and I felt a ping in my heart.
As I looked at the pictures scattered across
The twinkling lights in my room, it hit me.
“I am all alone, at least, it feels that way.”
That feeling is the greatest sting.
I can’t fully describe the sting.
It radiates outward from my heart
And creates a feeling of bricks
Falling on top of my chest.
The pressure of this releases
Tears from my eyes
And this all happens in the
Matter of a few seconds.
It happens so fast that
I am not even aware of why I’m so sad.
That’s it.
The emotion feels like sadness.
But not like normal
Surface-level sadness.
It’s a sadness so deep,
It touches my soul.
And that is why it hurts so much.
My soul is longing to be elsewhere,
But the bricks.
Those damn bricks keep my soul
Trapped inside.
My soul is stuck in the spinning pain
Of this one sting.
It tries so desperately to cry out,
But my body chooses to stay silent.
And then the ping from the sting fades,
But the heaviness stays.
It stays until I finally turn off the twinkling lights.
And my thoughts start to slow down.
And my body begins to go numb
To the world for a short eight hours.
But then I wake up.
And the heaviness is still there.
It’s lingered all night.
While my body was recharging,
My mind, soul, and spirit went to war.
And they fought so hard,
Trying to escape my body.
They were hoping this vessel I reside in
Would give out on me somehow.
And set me free from the weight.
Because I don’t want to feel this sting anymore.
I don’t want to be stung and have that
Radiate outward to a thousand bricks
Tumbling upon my chest in the middle of the night,
Releasing a storm of tears from my eyes
As my body tries to recharge
And my mind, soul, and spirit try to fight their way
Out of this war.
That feeling is the greatest sting.
I can’t fully describe the sting, but it’s a pain so deep,
It touches my soul.
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