The night sky calls me.
The breeze seeks to take me there.
I stride leisurely,
I walk to lay down.
The ground hurts to touch.
But does it give me enough pain?
To let me shed and shower a few of my tears,
To plant in this roughness my pain.
To empty from my soul the river that it holds,
To feel how it feels to be free from this weight?
Does it? Does it give me enough pain?
My mom used to say,
“Your senses are weak.”
She used to tell me,
I don’t feel much physical pain.
She was right.
It doesn’t hurt enough.
I wonder why, and I wonder what may.
What is this cloudy sky I lay beneath?
It lies like a blur in front of my eyes.
These clouds and dim lights,
Are not what I am here for.
I wanted to see everything clearly today.
The stars, the moon,
The blow of the breeze,
An ambience full of answers to my mysteries.
The wind was not supposed to cease today.
I wanted to feel everything today.
How my hair wishes not to be
bound to any specific place.
How my clothes aren’t perfect for
a ball in a palace.
How I breathe, and I breathe to listen
to the song I used to sing to myself.
Today, I do not care about who is listening to what I say.
Will those withered flowers ever bloom again?
Will the clouds drift away from the moon again?
Will it be a passage to my “old soul”?
Will the night be generous enough to take me there?
Please let me fall in love with myself.
Because I now know what hurts the most.
It is losing yourself.
Author: Sejal Chandraferi
Author Bio: Sejal Chandraferi is a writer based in India. She likes to reach out new people and explore new ways of living. You can find her on Instagram.
Link to social media or website: https://www.instagram.com/