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Real Stories

Love

I’ve noticed that one of the lessons I must master in this lifetime is love. Not simply romantic love, but unconditional love. Most say they know, have, and are capable of this kind of love; but aren’t even aware of the responsibility that is required to keep a heart as light as a feather. Since #LibraSZN and #ScorpioSZN, I have been the observer of love, seeing my reflection in every person and relationship around me. I believe astrology aligns me to the akashic information that is meant for me during that time. Libra and Scorpio are very present in my stars that rule love, relationships, and family. So during this autumn season I have been observing love and all of its shades, transformations, and harvests. This season in my life is meant for reflections, self evaluation, manifestations, and releasing. So far, I’ve realized a few things about unconditional love:

  1. Unconditional Love is love of self, entirely.

To even begin to understand the rest of this post you must first understand how to love yourself. When your patience is thin, how do you speak to yourself? When you are sad, how do you comfort yourself? When you are alone, how do you enjoy your time with yourself? Do you laugh at your own jokes? Do you love the sound of your voice, the melody of your walk, the rhythm of your spirit? Before you ask anyone to answer the questions life has presented you, do you ask yourself first? When was the last time you stirred yourself in the silence of your spirit and listened for the answers and guidance you had to offer? Do you listen to this advice or do you need someone else to validate it in order for it to be true? Do you allow yourself to freely feel how you want to feel? Are you aware of how you feel? Do you know what things affect how you feel? Do you take walks and just talk to yourself about your day? When was the last time you asked yourself how your day was? When was the last time you were honest with yourself when no one else was around to hear but you? Understanding your relationship with yourself reflects how you handle relationships with others. You won’t demand and feed off of the energy from your loved ones when you know how to give these things to yourself. And because this is a balanced way to love, all you will attract are whole spirits who know how to love from within so they are never without. Two spirits who are mates with their own souls giving one another the highest quality of love is harmony. But to understand how to harmonize, you must be familiar with your own voice.

  1. Unconditional Love Requires Boundaries… yes, this is Love.

We have this terrible idea that unconditional love means accepting whatever energy someone gives you for the greater good. We have been conditioned to believe that unconditional love is this “ride or die” image that leaves you broken, insecure, and disregarded. When truly, unconditional love is never jeopardizing your energy for anyone or anything. As a Goddess, I’ve worked hard to remain light, to clear out old conditioning, and to love all of the women inside of me fully and freely. When I chose to accept a love that does not match my vibration I am sending a message out to the universe that this is good enough. I chose to settle and I begin to align with that lower vibration. Healthy boundaries are necessary for self love. It is okay to love others from a distance and not entertain their ego, bad habits, and hurtful ideas of love. Never feel obligated to accept whatever energy someone gives you because you love them. Love is letting others know to do better with the silence and absence of your beautiful presence.

  1. Unconditional Love is Free and Patient and Understanding.

We hurt ourselves by demanding love when we want it, how we want it, when we want it. We want this love energy from someone so bad that we want to possess them, control their actions, and hold onto them for our benefit. Love is not control. If the one you love needs time and space to “do them”, allow them that opportunity especially if the manner in which they have been loving you is not to your liking. The universe is taking them down a path of healing, growth, and self understanding. Who are you to deny anyone that right? More likely than not, you also need that time to grow and love yourself more. To understand that love is not possession, no one is YOURS. Some people do align with your vibration, match your soul, and even share your consciousness of existence; but they do not belong to you. How harmful would you have felt if someone made you feel bad and rushed your healing process? How do you feel when you are impatient with yourself? It sets you back, it feels you with guilt; if you love someone your actions of love should never intentionally make someone feel bad for not loving you. I know this is all opposite of what you have been taught. But once you love yourself unconditionally, you become more understanding of others lack of love. You realize that someone’s inability to love you does not reflect the love that you host. So it becomes easier to allow others their space and time, because what is truly meant for you will always come back. But it’s up to you in the meantime to align yourself to the standard you are wanting to return.

This weekend a Goddess reminded me that evolution is all about newness and change. So whenever I have evolved, the universe will provide me with something new that is handcrafted to match my vibration entirely. Love, like any other form of energy, cannot be destroyed. It is always transformed and returned to you in a new form. Do not love yourself in order to attract an external love, understand love to be a better friend to yourself. You entered this world with you and will leave with you. What a shame it would be to spend this lifetime believing in someone else, chasing after someone else, and changing for someone else but never even holding a conversation with your one true everlasting love, you.

 

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by Tiara Burtin

I am a 24 year old Birth Doula and Naturopathic Herbalist. I also paint, dance, and write poetry. I am a creative and anything of life inspires me. My inspiration comes from all things feminine and womb related. I believe being a woman is the greatest gift in the world + it allows me to tap into realms within myself that guide me into creativity.

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