After a recent energy session, I’ve been told that my heart is “too open.”
I initially thought, what?! How is that even possible… and then I thought about all of the baggage I carry that isn’t my own, all of the pain I’ve tried to heal that I never caused, all of the places my heart and energy are being used as a medium, and how many lovers and friends I’ve allowed to drain me and use me because I cared too much. Used me as a safe middle ground, to be loving, supportive and open. Used me as a bridge, used me as reinforcement, used me as a safety net. And how much keeping these spaces open for others, was distracting me from focusing on myself. Letting myself be a punching bag, or a pillow for other people’s issues that I have nothing to do with.
My problem is that I LOVE to love, I love to give love, I love to get love; even if it’s temporary, even if it’s not reciprocated, even if it’s not appreciated.
So where’s the boundary? Where’s the boundary of being “too understanding,” or “too forgiving?” Between empathy and making excuses. Between love and benefit of the doubt.
At what point do you draw a line between you and someone you love? A twin flame, a soul mate, someone you’ve known for lifetimes. You can’t always keep that door open, you can’t always keep your heart open. You don’t want to draw the boundary because you care, you don’t want to pull away because you love.
But if you’re remaining open to issues, baggage, problems, drama, mistreatment, etc. then where do you end it? If you’re remaining open, and it’s preventing you from being able to move forward, or put your focus elsewhere. At which point are you sure it’s time to close the gate?
I’ve always believed that people never change, but for some reason my heart tells me to stay open to everything, and all, forever. I realize these two thoughts contradict each other, and I’m trying to work through where the line gets drawn.