People always talk about how when you’re holding the hand of the one you love, both hands fit perfectly. The fingers intertwine in such a way that it’s hard to tell where one hand ends and the other begins. I’ve heard it compared to holding your own hand – the two are one in the same, so when you clasp your hands together they collide to make a perfect whole.
But then I held your hand.
And suddenly mine didn’t fit the same anymore. Suddenly my hands found a new perfect, and what once worked so well no longer served a purpose. It’s like my hands knew they weren’t meant to be together. They were meant for something more.
They were meant for you.
Lost and Found
Almost every summer my family makes the trip out to North Carolina for a week-long vacation. We’ve been doing this practically every year since I was two or so, yet every year is filled with its own unique sense of adventure. When I was around the age of 15, I was sitting on a the pier closest to where we were staying and I had just taken a break from drawing in the little notebook I carried with me everywhere I went. As I was just watching the waves and the people on the shore and the seagulls flying overhead, not really thinking about anything in particular, a fisherman looked over at me and asked if I was alright.
“I’m sorry?” I asked in return.
“Darlin’, you look like a lost soul if I’ve ever seen one.”
I think I just kind of smiled and assured the man I was alright, just enjoying my time on the pier, but to be honest I don’t really remember what I said to him. But I never forgot what he said to me.
I remember that summer being a tough one for me – I went through a lot of personal challenges and I know I struggled quite a bit, so when that man said I looked like a lost soul I couldn’t help but wonder how right he was. I definitely felt lost, but I was astounded that a stranger noticed it as well.
It’s been nearly five years and I still think about what that man said to me on a regular basis. “You look like a lost soul…” practically plays on repeat in my head some days. I still wonder about the truth attached to that statement – about how lost I feel every once in a while (because let’s be honest, we’re all lost souls sometimes). But when I think back to my trip to the beach about a month ago, and I think about when I was standing on the pier next to three of my best friends – two from college, one from home – and about the week I had just had, I know ‘lost’ was the last word I would use to describe what I was feeling. Maybe I didn’t know exactly where I stood in life, but I knew what direction I was headed and to me, it was the right direction, and that’s all it takes to feel a little less lost, right?
Maybe I’m still a lost soul, but I like to think I’m a lost soul who’s a little more confident in her journey.
We’re taught that there are seasons
We’re told that we should love them
Because of the wonders that they bring
Winter brings cold
With snow that gleams and shines
While Summer brings the heat
From a sun that feels so fine
Fall brings cozy sweaters
And kids in costume on Halloween
Then spring brings a breath of life
And opens our eyes to the beauty that should be seen
There are seasons of our life
Like there are seasons of the earth
The seasons of our lives
Are unpredictable from birth
We can only guess
What season we’re in
Be it winter, summer, spring, or fall
But they each bring some clarity
To help us understand
The purpose behind our call
I do not know
What season I’m in
And I could probably never tell you
When it started or when it will end
But I have learned to laugh
And I have learned to dream
I have learned to appreciate
The little things
But after all I have learned
Be it good or bad
Learning to love
Is a skill that I lack
I know what Love is
And I know that it’s there
And I know my heart is full of it
Ready to be shared
But perhaps I am in winter
Or maybe even fall
A season where life is waiting
And beauty will soon cover all
I am not sad about this
Because I know the breath will come
And just like the warmer season
Life will flourish under the sun
I feel the heat already
And I can see the beauty coming near
But for now I will enjoy the season I’m in
Because I know God’s timing will be clear
Where does love come from?
And what does it do?
Does it make us feel?
Or is that simply a side effect of it?
Does it make us act?
Or is that just another biproduct?
Maybe love isn’t a matter of what it is
Where it comes from
Or what it does
Because we are love
Love is in us
And love is us
The search for it is endless
Because we’re searching for ourselves
The desire for it is everlasting
Because we are desiring ourselves
And always will be
Who we are
Author: Erin Brock
Author Bio: Just a girl with a passion, a person with a heart for others, and a blogger with a desire to share her thoughts.