Love and Relationships

TO THE BOY WHO GAVE UP ON ME

I look back and I can’t believe how much I cried over you, how much I poured into you, poured until I was empty. I can’t believe how much I thought about you, worried about you, when it was you who gave up on me.  Now I see you with her. It looks like you’ve moved on, and quickly at that. She’s everything you could have wanted. Everything I wasn’t. Everything you gave up on me for. Or maybe you’re with her because she doesn’t know you, at least not as much as I do. I’m done guessing, analyzing, overanalyzing. But I’m not sad. I’m not even angry at you. Actually, the only thing I can find to do is laugh because I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need anyone, but apparently, you do. You gave up on me as if we were nothing. You said you lov...

THE APP EVERYONE USES THAT’S UNDERMINING TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Two years ago I packed up my American life and moved the whole operation over the Atlantic to Spain. Needless to say, a lot of things changed in my day-to-day. Certain apps that I relied on in the US were not accessible in Europe, and some that I was told were necessary for my new life weren’t available to me until I got a Spanish phone number.   One of the apps that I had integrated so easily into my life in the US that I could no longer use was Venmo. I couldn’t tie the app to my European bank account and it was too much of a hassle to use it via my American account. Not to mention, people in Europe have never heard of it.  My social life reverted to those high school days of having a lot of small change on me to pay for myself when checks were split or to be able to pay whic...

FIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU DON’T LIVE NEAR YOUR BESTIE

Sometimes it’s incredibly difficult not living in the same place as your best friend. Whether they moved because they met the love of their life, landed their dream job, or you simply ended up in different cities, it’s just plain old hard when they aren’t an Uber ride away. It makes you want to curl up in a ball and drown your sorrows in Halo Top. Well, drop the spoon and try these five tips to help wipe away your tears. Communicate on the Reg (I’ll be shocked if you’re not doing this already, but I take pleasure in making fairly obvious observations. Indulge me, if you will.) Thanks to unlimited texting and family phone plans, I seriously text my best friends 24/7. If I see a funny quote or come across something that reminds me of them, I screenshot and send. There is nothing better than ...

FACING FEARS AND MAPPING MODERN LOVE

September 2014. If you were anything like me for the duration of that month, year and every other day leading up to that time period, you were drawing up your plans to take your respective career ladder by storm, trying to find your footing and permanency in building up your work and credentials within the multiple degrees you worked hard to earn, and not caring a thing about finding a guy who, in your words, “would only eventually leave.” Believing this mantra, you almost never dated and, outside of accompanying friends and family on special events, dinners, or nights out on the town, you hardly saw the outside of your home’s door. “Your last date was two years ago, Jess,” a friend and co-worker told me one day during a casual bout of conversation. She emphasized the words as if I hadn’t ...

A TALE TO TELL

You know the worst part about letting a man cum inside of you? The waiting. For the woman, it has to be the waiting. We wait. Count the days. Count them again. Panic. Feel and over feel every little thing in our body. Then panic again. Then wonder, “What the hell am I gonna do?” Every day that passes beyond what it is supposed to, I think about how would I even begin to do have a child. Then remind myself I’m capable and I’ve figured out lots of things and will figure this out too. Probably alone, because the waiting is alone. What sucks is knowing the man goes off to work, hangs out with friends, f***s whoever is in his bed and doesn’t even have to worry. It most likely doesn’t even cross his mind again, aside from moments of arousal. It’s like a constant reminder it most like...

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

To whom it may concern, I loved you. I really did; at least I think I did. Did I lie about having feelings for you? Yes, but I think you knew that. In this letter I want to discuss why I fell in love with you and why I think you didn’t fall for me. Trust, it was not your hazel eyes, your perfect teeth or your beautiful plump lips…those were all just cherries on top. I fell in love you because you were accountable, funny and it was always easy opening up to you. Mind you, I had a boyfriend at the time. But to be perfectly honest, most of the time I was thinking of you and how fast time always went by with our shenanigans, inside jokes, the maybes of you and I.I become so in awe of the thought of you that I became obsessive. Looking back, I was a mess because I wanted to be everything ...

I’M MOVING TO AUSTRALIA TO BE WITH YOU, MY CIRCUS PERFORMER LOVE

By Monday, I expect to be desperately shoving clothes into two suitcases before rushing to the airport for my flight to Melbourne. Yes, I’m giving up everything up for you, my Australian contemporary circus performer. I’ll admit that when you walked onstage last night, I thought you looked a bit like a buff Doogie Howser – something we can laugh about in 10 years, I’m sure. You strutted around shirtless, in comfort-fit jeans, barefoot, with a delightfully ripped body, on a non-threatening, 5’5″ frame. Blond hair, innocent smile. I didn’t want to fall in love with you. In fact, I actively worked to avoid it. About 20 minutes into the show, when you put on that leather, button-down vest, I wondered if you were gay. I convinced myself that you were. It would be easier for me that ...

LITTLE BLACK DRESS

Why is my little black dress to blame for actions of people who cant seem to control their urges? Why is it a crime to wear that little black dress that hugs my body and celebrates the form I was blessed with? Why do you blame my little black dress for your inability to treat me with the respect I deserve? Don’t blame it on the little black dress It wasn’t an invitation Or an implication that I wanted your attention Don’t tell me you didn’t have a choice* & don’t dare say, “It was like you were begging me to have my way with you” (or that I was asking for it) And don’t dare say, “What else did you expect from me, wearing that little black dress?” …     Author: Eduarda Author Bio: I’m passionate about people, learning and photogr...

COPING WITH THE TRAGIC AND SUDDEN DEATH OF MY CLOSE FRIEND

We associate certain kinds of music, scents, flowers, animals, colors or images with different stages of our life. One song that has an extra personal meaning to me because of a very terrible incident that happened a few years after I graduated from high school. Let me explain the story. The song is a very popular song by the rock group Styx: “Come Sail Away.” The beginning of the song is slow then gradually gets a tempo and a fast beat. The slow part really gets me, especially the verse: I remember high school friends and me With our dreams I start to cry when I hear this verse as well as the beginning of the song with just the music before Dennis DeYoung starts singing. It is a wonderful song, after all it stayed on the charts for a whopping two years and initially sold over ...

GRACE AT 30,000 FEET

I used to be deathly afraid to fly. We are talking well into my adulthood where it’s no longer cool to hold someone’s hand tightly as we take off and land; that kind of fear. I think people used to feel sorry for me as they watched me white-knuckle the two armrests and squeeze my face really tight. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I thought I would never overcome the fear. Now, I fly more than ever, and somehow the fear has left the building. People always want me to give them some magic formula on how to ask fear to exit your body and be an overcomer. Sadly, I don’t ever have a good answer. The only thing I can ever tell people is simply this: fill something with love so much so that you no longer have room for fear. It always silly, but it’s true. Anything that is so fu...

SWEET BEAZIE

In Chattanooga, there was a café near the pedestrian bridge I used to frequent. Over the counter hung a tasteful painting of several women sitting on the grass in the nude engaged in conversation. Seemingly staring back at anyone looking at the painting was a small blue dog with yellow eyes that didn’t quite belong in the scene. Every time I went into the café, I was mesmerized by the painting and the dog. Finally, one day, I asked to speak to the owner. I was told the owner was seldom there and the lady asked if there was any way she could help me. I told her that I was interested in buying the painting. She smiled kindly into my then very young face and gave me an art lesson on the first George Rodrigue original Blue Dog that I had seen to date. Needless to say, I don’t own one. Many yea...

NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS

We’ve all heard it before. Whether it was from the Manic Pixie Dream Girl in another John Green novel or from one of those anonymous “Typical White Girl” Twitter accounts. We’ve all probably been guilty of using this sentiment as well. I have. The thing is: when did it become so wrong to “be like other girls”? Why has the simple act of being our gender pushed us against a wall and thrown us into a pigeonhole? When the edgy girl with a guitar slung on her shoulder says, “I’m not like OTHER girls,” what does she really mean? When did the word “girl” become synomous with catty, gossipy, high-maintenance, mean, crazy, etc.? All those sterotypes that we’ve proven again and again we are not. Because that’s not how humans work. We are not easily categorized. We are complex beings, goo...

Lost Password

Register