Love and Relationships

STILL

My love is like the stillness of the ocean. Peaceful & calm on the surface, but harboring depth that rarely gets explored. Many will dip their toes, but few dive in, because they don’t know what they’re searching for.   My love is like the stillness of the ocean. Simple, yet impossible to ignore. Just by existing it amplifies the beauty of everything it’s ever known.   My love is like the stillness of the ocean. Rocky currents will come and go. Some will play, running away while others step in slow.   My love is like the stillness of the ocean. Cradling those who rode the waves It’s not an easy feat to try and find peace while in an unstable state.   My love is like the stillness of the ocean. Honoring those with patience and grace Because when fac...

I GUESS WE ARE JUST FRIENDS

I wake up a couple of hours later because I’m cold. I see you across the room, sitting at the computer. You’re dressed already. You see that I’m awake and you smile. “I was about to slip out. You were sleeping so good I didn’t want to wake you. I’m just checking my email right quick.” I can tell right away that your mood has changed. You’re no longer as comfortable with me as you were before. This change makes me feel naked and it has nothing to do with what I’m wearing, or the lack thereof. I get up and begin to get dressed. Even though it’s spring and it’s warm, I put on jeans and a lightweight hoodie. I’m familiar with this new mood and it chills me to the bone. It makes me feel nervous and alone. You’re no lo...

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY PARENTS ABOUT LOVE

What does the word “love” mean to you? Is it something that scares you? Or is it a word that puts a smile on your face? Who is the first person that pops into your head when you hear the word? A best friend? A sibling? A family member? A significant other? When I think of the word love, I think of my amazing parents. They pushed me to pursue my dreams and raised me to believe I can achieve anything in the world. On a romantic note, I can’t remember the first time I realized how in love my parents were with each other. Their love was always just something I just found as a normal part of life. When I was younger, I found their PDA one of the most embarrassing things in the world! Until about the age of 14, every time they would kiss in front of me I would cover my eyes and go, “Gross, PG-13...

PEOPLE: THEY ARE BLIND

As I reflect on the past decade+ of trials and tribulations, successes and experiences, one very important lesson jumps out at me: It is so important to surround yourself with the right people. People will see you as an external version of themselves. They see what they like about themselves, or what they don’t. They see someone they want to be, or someone they failed to be. Someone they used to know and like, or someone they used to know and didn’t like. Or they see nothing. They see a blank slate that they can impress or mould into someone who sees them a certain way. So that they can feel they are that way. People will treat you according to factors like this, not based on who you are. Unfortunately, these same blind people can shape how you see yourself based on how often you have to t...

HAPPY

Happy So recently, I got a new boyfriend. My very first real boyfriend. And it’s weird, because I had this whole plan, as many of us do after being hurt a couple times, to relinquish all hope of love and stay single for…ever. I was going to move to France and bang my way across Europe because the idea of getting hurt again by someone I thought I loved seemed way more damaging. I just needed to get through two more years of college and then I would be off. In a foreign country, surrounded by foreign men, foreign music and foreign FOOD. Why the hell would I ever need love? And then I met Landon. And he’s warm and funny and charming and, my god, the sweetest, kindest, most selfless person I’ve ever met. Of course I didn’t mean to fall for him. Of course I never e...

SPARKS AT SUNRISE

A flower blooms when it’s ready, not when we want. It blooms at its own pace. Sometimes we hurry and we want to get to “that” place, meet the person, start the relationship, have the job, etc.! But we fail to recognize that we’re already planted where we need to be. We find it difficult to thank our starting point because all we see is the lack of what we don’t have yet. That is why, in order to advance, we need to learn to be grateful. Being grateful is for the brave, and the only way to go forward is to recognize ourselves for what we are now; we need to shake off our expectations, polish our priorities and expand our inner gaze to realize that before looking for greatness outside, we need to feel great and full from within. There are some who believe in fate, in the moon, in...

FOR EVERY STRONG, BUT SENSITIVE WOMAN STILL LEARNING TO LOVE

You are a beautiful combination. You are passion and fierceness, a mouth that speaks openly and a heart that keeps beating, even through pain. You have loved before. You have loved wildly and freely. You have loved with every ounce of yourself and haven’t regretted it, not for a moment. And you will keep on loving, just as openly and fearlessly. You are the type of woman who finds strength in letting people in. You pride yourself in being open, not guarded. You have always kept your head on straight, even when following your heart. And it is in the way you care for people, but still value your self-worth that you are strong. You know who you are and how you love and you celebrate this. But you are also sensitive. You can’t help but fall a little too easily. You can’t keep yourself from get...

TO THE ONE WHO MIGHT JUST BREAK MY WALLS

To my person (if you really do exist beyond my imagination), I hope this letter reaches you when you are struggling to keep up with me but you are still bursting in the pink vibrant colours of health and energy. I wish you read this when most of your friends advise you to think about yourself, not about the girl who wouldn’t give her whole to you, who shies away from any kind of label or name. You see, love, you’re not the first guy who has tried to read me… who thought he knew what I was thinking of. And he couldn’t have been any more wrong than that; but you are not. You are too right for me, you are so very right and, to be honest, you scare me sometimes. Love, I am sorry. You should know this even when I don’t tell this to you enough. Even when you can’t fathom what I am apologizing fo...

SCREW RELATIONSHIP GOALS – WHAT’S THE POINT

Regardless of what social media platform you’re on, you’ve definitely seen people talking about #relationshipgoals. This infamous hashtag is almost always accompanied by pictures of flowers, gifts and happy couples. Let me be clear: I have nothing against someone wanting to express their love on social media. I enjoy giving my husband cute little shout-outs every now and then when I’m feeling particularly sentimental. However, there are just a few problems I have when it comes this popular phrase: The focus on material possessions. Jewelry, candy, flowers, clothes and even cars, there’s often an emphasis on what your partner can buy you, rather than the actual depth in the relationship. While the occasional gift is nice, goals shouldn’t be about what a guy can...

NEVER ENOUGH

Enough in Urban Dictionary is defined as: a word to describe a person of the opposite sex as good looking, beautiful, or hot. Enough, meaning he/she would be enough to suit your needs. How many of us have heard this from our partner? The one person who is supposed to make us feel secure and assure us that we are more than enough. Unfortunately, they are the ones who break us down one piece at a time. We literally feel each piece falling apart. After all we do, take care of his home, cook his dinner, wash his clothes, listen when he needs to tell us about his day, and make ourselves physically available. Even with all of this said and done it never seems to be enough. They always find something that we are lacking. Having experienced a fraction of the things I’m describing, I have com...

4 DATING BEHAVIORS YOU SHOULD NEVER ACCEPT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I need you to know that even in the murky area of dating that there are “right” and “wrong” ways of treating people – and some dating behaviours you should never accept. Sometimes there are no excuses and no justifications; sometimes your heart needs to hear a strong message: get out, stay safe and avoid anyone who shows up in your life and treats you in this way. Some days I wish I could walk back to my old classroom, take the slinky or pogs out of my 9-year-old hands, look myself in the eyes and tell myself everything I know now about what behaviour is OKAY and what is DEFINITELY NOT OKAY. I think as young women we are often given useless and intangible messages around love. From a strange osmosis of Disney, pop songs and phrases we hear other people saying it is ...

SHE

The greatest mistake she did was look at herself through his eyes. Why? The Lord Almighty had blessed her with pleasant features and character. Yet she saw her worth through his eyes. In the starting of her relationship with him. He called her ugly. She had become hurt and upset. But to make him happy. She began a journey towards weight loss. It wasn’t a journey towards physical change. It was a 360 turn of who she really was. He was sent as a lesson to her. Today she accepts that fact. But in the time she was with him. She broke herself and made herself. She questioned herself as to why she was handling his bullsh*t. And as why couldn’t he see her worth. She used to make excuses for his behavior. Justify to her heart that their might be a reason to his behaving with her like t...

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