Love and Relationships

#SUPERWOMAN BEGINNING IN THE MIDDLE | CO-FOUNDER CATHERINE WILLIAMSON TALKS TO HARNESS

On renovating homes, working with her husband and quitting her job The before and after pictures are truly spectacular — from broken walls, floral wallpaper and old tiles, Catherine Williamson and her husband, Bryan Williamson, transform lifeless spaces into bright, welcoming homes. The images speak for themselves as Catherine and Bryan build an empire. With reality television show offers, 50K followers on Instagram and features on sites like Oprah.com –we wanted to learn more about the co-founder of Beginning in the Middle, a former accountant from New Jersey. Catherine is the oldest of five siblings. Growing up, their mom did not want them to have cable, so they played with each other and made crafts. “That fostered a lot of creativity in all of us,” Catherine said. “I just r...

IS EVERYONE DATING BUT ME?

One day, while scrolling through my personal Instagram account, a strange thought crossed my mind. Is it just me, or is everyone  dating?  As I scrolled through engagement announcements, wedding photos, anniversary celebrations and newborn photo shoots, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was normal to still be single and enjoy it.  I’m only 24, of course  it’s normal. But only a few weeks earlier I was in an entirely different place: Tinder, if we’re being honest (we’ve all been there,  I won’t tell if you won’t). It was a few months post break-up, and there I was, already in search of the next relationship to fill the void because being alone terrified me. Everyone around me seemed to be in a relationship, and it was all I could see.  This is the first ti...

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BOY I PUSHED AWAY

“It’s not you it’s me.”  No, really. You were perfect. You were quirky in an adorable way. You looked at life the way I only pretended to – full of life and without regret. There was a sweetness to your innocence, yet something I could resonate with. You were so eager to show me your world; your favorite bands, your record collection, but most importantly your photographs. What I loved most was your knack for finding the beauty in the simplest of things.    I will always remember that night you took me into the city. It’s imprinted in my memories because of its simplicity and perfection. We drove past the endless skyline and in that moment, I was reminded how alive we were. You showed me a parts of the city I had never seen before that made me feel so alive. While I stared out ...

HOW I GAINED A LIFE PARTNER IN 10 DAYS

I believe I found the one on a trip to Machu Pichu.  No, I did not meet him there, but I believe in all of my heart I found my partner there.  Over the years we have been together people ask how did you meet and well, that is a story in itself for another time.  We really did have an unprecedented start.  Shortly into our spending time together, but not actually dating, he asked me where were my top five places I wanted to go in my life.  I rattled them off thinking nothing of it.  One week later he showed up with plane tickets to Peru and said tag you are it. The ultimate game of chicken, no?  I paused and said hold that thought.  See, I was divorced and raising my daughters alone and we did not have family around; I needed to figure it out.  One day later, I said yes.  His response was, ...

HEARTSHOCK

I have recently fallen prey to this thing called heartbreak, or perhaps I should refer to it in a more literal term: heartshock.  My heart was shocked by deception and lies which ultimately led to a painful and messy break up.  I was struck with sober emotions like nothing I had ever faced before. I wallowed in self-pity. I behaved like a complete lunatic trying to manipulate and control the situation to achieve the outcome I desired. I hacked his Facebook account, I messaged him incessantly, I tried to win him back through arousing his jealousy – I stopped at nothing to try to win this man back after he betrayed me.  And then I realized I was miserable, psychotic AND not at all able to change the outcome or his behaviors.  This particular situation proved to be a major challenge for...

HOW MY MOM RAISED (OR DIDN’T RAISE) ME WHILE BATTLING DEPRESSION

I realized I was just like my mom when my husband had his first panic attack. Driving through the city, he had to stop, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and take over, thinking about how dramatic he was being, downplaying his emotions, his terror, his sheer, brain-zapping panic.  That’s what she was, my mom. That’s what she did. Other’s emotions were too much, or not enough. Too complicated or oversimplified. She was always too busy or too overbearing, hovering or hiding.  I learned to deal with my emotions alone. I learned to walk softly, speak little and make myself small.  She wouldn’t call me for three months and then threaten to come beat down my door to “make sure I was okay” after she decided to text me during the work day, and I didn’t respond within 60 seconds. There was never...

BITTERNESS IS A FLAVOR

I have become bitter about marriage. I know a couple where the woman is an animal communicator and the boyfriend is a chef. They recently became engaged. He thinks it is perfectly acceptable that she can tell him what the cat or the turtle are thinking and she coo’s about his cooking because she “can’t cook a thing.” In my cynicism, I can forecast with confidence that within five years of being married he will scoff at her ability to talk with animals and she will tell him if he makes enchiladas for dinner one more time she will drive his prized knife through his heart. When I see beautiful homes for sale on the country road that connects my town to Ft. Collins, I inevitably think: “Divorce.” Because nobody would sell such a precious house on a lake unless they were divorcing and needed to...

TILL OUR NEEDS DO US PART

I used to think that relationships started of as a mutual attraction or a certain chemistry between two people, but now I think that most relationships hit it off based on each other’s needs, and they also end when those needs aren’t fulfilled to its entirety or when there’s a sudden internal shift that makes you realize that you are no longer dependent on that specific need.  The needs that connect you to another person aren’t always physical needs such as sex or affection, sometimes these needs go deeper than that and you only become aware of them further in the relationship. Some of these needs may be security, support, a father figure or mother figure. You may have a need of someone that will help you set limits to organize yourself better. You may need that person to confront your fea...

A TRUE KISS

Is this what a kiss supposed to feel like?   Is this the feeling I should have after showing some form of public display of affection?  As that kiss happened, I should have felt the excitement in my body that every regular human being should feel.   However, this isn’t the case.  I didn’t feel the warmth that I should have felt when our lips intertwined with each other.  Maybe the moment didn’t feel too right or was rushed, but there’s something about it that didn’t catch my eye.   I wish I knew what it felt like getting a good, soothing, heartfelt kiss from who’s a genuine human being. Someone with morals and priorities they have straight, and who aspires to follow their own dreams.   Inside, I felt very confused on everything that happened, and I tried...

RELATIONSHIPS IN MODERN SOCIETY

Does our generation want relationships? Or do we just simply want a partner to spend cold nights and post funny Snapchats videos with? Our generation, the Millennials, are slowly lowering our standards and losing our hope for the fairytale enchanted romance that we used to see in the Disney films.   The reason why? Well, it has been caused by the rapidly advances in technology, with all the dating apps and social media sites. What we want is a Facebook official relationship with tons of likes and comments, overly-publicized engagements and those cutesy pictures that make our friends wish they had those as “#relationshipgoals.” Unfortunately, our generation is plagued with instant gratification, quick answers—and that is why we rush into things. There is this constant struggle b...

HAVING A CRUSH IN YOUR TWENTIES

What’s it like to have a crush in your twenties? It sucks.  I developed a small crush at the beginning of the summer. But you know how “small” crushes go. I mean, there’s a reason it’s called a crush. We were chatting online and I found that our similarities (and our differences) were attracting me to him. I was excited to meet him – y’know how those butterflies can be. But a few weeks after sporadic texting, he dropped the bad news (bad news for me, anyway) – he was into someone else and they were going to start dating.  I felt like any dramatic teenage girl at that moment: completely floored. (I responded with a “that’s ok” but YOU KNOW it wasn’t the truth.) In short, it hurt. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it...

DEAR EX BOYFRIEND

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,  I chose to focus on the good in you. Your heart is big and warm and loving by nature. You don’t need a program to teach you to lend out your hand to others; you do that naturally. You are one of the most selfless people I have met. You just want to care for your family and loved ones and protect them and make their lives a little easier.  You are intelligent, athletic and someone who most people enjoy being around.  You are not very funny. But you laughed at my jokes. You always see the good in people. You see the good in every situation and you rarely complain or get stuck in self-pity. I love that about you. It was contagious. You changed my perspective in that way. You made me feel at home and at peace. Feeling your touch made me believe everything would be okay. One...

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