Love and Relationships

WOVEN IN THE WRONG STITCH

And all of these things? They have created space. Allowed me to fill the darkness with better. Trusting that everything I once grasped too tightly to was just woven in the wrong stitch. While I unthread to remake, I remember the new space I’m creating between my finger tips. The way the openness feels in the morning, like you can take on the world. It’s the way the same vast feeling that practically swallows you whole by night time. It’s the power you feed into darling, don’t you know? When the light illuminates the darkness it doesn’t happen immediately. It trickles in, covering all the dark spaces with color. Slowly the colors unravel in the morning sky and you can not only feel, but sense the power. Light always wins, just keep looking for the small threads...

THE STORY OF US

It was a hot summer day at the end of June, and I was heading to New York City to celebrate one of my best friend’s bridal showers. I booked my flight on Delta because I could use miles, even though one of my friends was flying on JetBlue. I almost booked on JetBlue, but I said, “Nah, let me save the money.” I was on the plane, and we were about to leave the gate when the pilot came on and announced there was a mechanical issue. I rolled my eyes and thought, Oh great, here we go. They said it should only take an hour. An hour went by, and they came back on the loudspeaker…it would be another two hours because they needed a part flown in. We all had to deplane with our things. At this point I’m stressed and worried; will I make it to NYC in time to have dinner with my girls? I g...

HOW TO MAKE A TEMPORARY LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

My husband and I are that couple—the overly affectionate type who enjoy each other’s company, day in, day out. Before you give us the side eye, hear me out: Inseparable from the day we met, my husband and I never spent too much time apart; two, maybe three days tops. However, during the summer of 2016, an unexpected life event made our daily hustle and bustle come to a screeching halt. As I packed my bags, leaving our home in New York, moving to Atlanta to care for my mother, who was very ill at the time, I wondered how in the world we were going to make this long-distance thing work. “And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”  —Khalil Gibran At first, living apart was very stressful. Once we came to terms with our situation, we decid...

WE PROMISED

we promised each other we would always remember, we swore we would never forget. but that was before, back when we were together, we hadn’t departed just yet.   now fifty states and a thousand mistakes lie between the crux of our brains and all that I dream is to reach for the phone and pretend that you’re calling my name.   you’ll tell me that you miss me, then I’ll shout “I feel the same” you’ll whisper “I’ll be back” you’re still my secret cure of pain   but instead, I cry a river and now await the sun for I don’t have the means to build a bridge not the energy to run   across, to the land of forget across, to the land of forgive we never planned our death we were too hopeful that we’d live   but we are not immortal, and all good things must end. nothing lasts f...

HOW I BROKE MY OLD PATTERN AND STARTED TO TELL A DIFFERENT LOVE STORY

Falling in love with my husband feels like it happened just yesterday. I’d had some past relationships. Twelve, to be exact, before meeting him. I started dating when I was twelve years old. I thought I was the expert on men! However, none of the relationships worked out for me. I made a wish that I would settle down with a good guy before I turned 30. But my 30th birthday came and went, and nothing happened. I usually hit it off with a guy quickly then broke up with him just as quickly. We had sex before becoming exclusive. And I always had what I called the “fear attack”: fears of being abandoned, being alone and being unable to love again. These fears made me a controlling person. Not long after dating a new guy, I started organizing his life by cleaning his house, folding his laundry a...

MEET HIM IN THE MESS: HOW TO MOVE ON FROM HEARTBREAK

I am not going to tell you to stop crying. Failures, disappointments, regrets and breakups hurt. Ready or not, it can overwhelmingly suck you in a box of unspeakable misery. And to fathom or reminisce how or why it happened just makes it worse. The world will tell you that “time heals wounds.” It will also urge you to cure your wounds with runaway road trips, social therapies, alcohol or drugs, self-help books, self-love prescriptions and even immediate love-search.  Sure, these may fill the void. But my dear one, you are more precious than rubies. Your wounds do not deserve mere band-aid solutions; it needs a deep-seated healing not from this shallow world but from a compassionate Healer.  His name is Jesus. Go ahead, meet Him in the midst of the mess. He will not invalidate you or what y...

OUR ROM-COM “I LOVE YOU” MOMENT I DIDN’T KNOW I WANTED

It was cold, one of the first really cold nights of the year, and we were on our way home from a party. We were arguing – not fighting – about my incessant need to check on his well-being. I asked if he was okay, probably for the 18th time that day, because I worry about my people. That’s how things in my family had always worked. If you shut a cabinet too loudly or sighed too heavily, someone would be there to ask what was wrong. We read into actions and body language… a lot. Sure we’re obnoxious, but we care. My boyfriend had yet fully to understand this family characteristic.  “Why do you worry so much if I’m okay?” he asked. As the absurdity of the question (and a bit of the alcohol) began to wash over me, I realized I was already speaking. “Because I love you!” I said, as if it was so...

RETROGRADE

In life, we go through different relationships that serve a purpose. Some leave small footprints and others leave deep ones. As we continue to walk we begin to understand that no relationship is ever in vain. With each relationship we learn something new. We learn to love and we learn to love ourselves. We learn to give and to receive. We learn to tolerate, accept and set boundaries. Sometimes we need to reach the edge of the abyss and recognize that despite the differences there is always something that brings a relationship back together. Instead of running away, we face the challenge and sometimes that little pause in between is what saves the relationship and allows us to let our guard down to forgive and start again. A lot of relationships need to come to an end so that each person ca...

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DATE A WRITER…LOUDER, FOR THOSE IN THE BACK

Date a writer,  You will feel the wind on your skin  You will know beauty in the kind of simplicity you have never seen  And with that knowledge, you will be free.    Date a writer,  And you will see the world in colour  A mirage of sunset shades that you never imagined  Gold and orange spilled over your face.    Date a writer,  You will see the way she looks through sadness  With multi-dimensional glasses set in tints brighter than typical roses  And it will be the balance that lifts you.    Date a writer,  You will learn to love in the most honest of ways  Moved by the heart, pushing needless tricks of the mind aside  You will be loved, and you will feel alive.    After all that has been said and done  If you break my heart, I will turn it into art  That is the way that this works  So do...

SEASONS GREETINGS IN LOVE

Hope you all are having a very special and happy holiday. This will be a post focused on an intense, powerful emotion: Love. Love, ah, such a simple one syllable word, yet so complex with no specific definition. Love, it is defined by all differently, and shown in different ways. Love, such a complex emotion, with more than one dimension, and spoken in all the worlds languages. Body, soul, mind, heart, universal – all is connected in the spirally storm called: Love. I love this, I love that. And with love comes the opposition: Hate. I hate this, I hate that, I love you, I hate you, come back, go a way, come back. Stay. Ah, such a bitter confusion our mind likes to make love to be. But it is not so complicated. Not to me; for love is meant to be felt, not just heard. I once was wishfully th...

MYSTERY MOUNTAIN

The mountain is where magic and mystery are found. It’s where simplicity becomes so over powering it creates a spark. The gentle touch of this mountain has more strength than a girl knows how to handle. This mountain is where prayers are answered, where the fresh starts occur, smiles grow bigger and real, where just one kiss starts a fire that burns the bad and makes a light inside so bright you can only believe it’s but a dream. The mountain is everyone’s “cliché” happiness, the little girl fairytale that people long to have. This mountain has created something so beautiful, life is now full of endless possibilities. The only thing you think of day in and day out are the next mysteries the mountain will surprise you with. This mountain will give you do-overs, a beautiful outlook on ...

UNCHARTED FLASHES

There’s something about change that triggers negativity to rise. Perhaps the things we hide, reject, deny and dismiss to the side are the treasures that push us to make a real transformation. What we don’t allow ourselves to feel, eventually comes back to manifest itself in some other shape or color. Sometimes the anger we have held inside of us for many years starts to reflect the relationship we establish with our body. Perhaps the resentment towards one our parents starts to become more evident within our relationships, or maybe an emotional trauma in our early years has made a hole so deep within us that we have learned to cover it up with unfulfilling relationships. There are many things we hide or avoid because we are afraid of unleashing emotions we consider “bad, negative, un...

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