Love and Relationships

SINGLENESS ISN’T WAITING

You’ve been waiting for this. You clicked on this link because you, your single and desperate self, need more advice on how to make Singleness worthwhile. “What’s wrong with me?” you ask, possibly scarfing chocolate and watching The Notebook. “Why am I still single? I must be doing Singleness wrong. Please, O Internet, tell me how to Single.” We all know there’s an exact science to Single. You do all the right things and eventually you magically bump into The One. Not intimidating at all, right? You have to get the formula exactly right, or else you’ll end up alone forever. You have to do exactly what those lists on Cosmopolitan and Pinterest blogs tell you to do. You have to read all those “Open Letters” on the Internet so you know exactly what is wrong with boys who won’t ask...

GOING BACK TO SCHOOL SAVED MY SOUL

Happiness isn’t always found through just romance. I wish I had learned this at a young age, but as someone who grew up on fairy tales and happily-ever-after’s—with stories of Prince Charmings rescuing the Princess—my young adult reality of relationships soon became twisted and distorted. And for seven years, I fooled myself into thinking my first very serious, on and off rollercoaster-ride-of-a-relationship was continuously worth fighting for. I just HAD to have that happily-ever-after. I was young; I was naïve. Simply put, I was too passive. To outsiders, my relationship probably seemed somewhat normal. But not all relationships are truly what they seem. In fact, mine was extremely toxic, and my past partner’s unhappiness and constant cynicism would drag me down throughout the years. All...

I HAVE TO SAVE MYSELF

I lay on the bed waiting for something to happen. We had talked about all sorts of fantasies in our relationship, but each day looked the same, luxuriating to the point of suffocation. He pulled the computer over to rest on his chest as he perused the internet, waiting for noise to stop downstairs so that he could potentially make his first meal after hours and hours of waiting, “I don’t want to go downstairs because there are people down there,” he would say, “I am not going down there.” I began to realize that I was waiting for something that was never going to come. Years could be filled up with this waiting: sitting on beds, looking over at a living corpse just waiting to rot and die, and for what? I was doing this to myself; I was choosing to take the easier way out, staying in a rela...

I HATE YOU

“I HATE YOU!” Hate is a more powerful feeling than love. It runs deeper, it affects the heart at a higher level and it can infect the soul, ultimately all your life. And just like love, hate takes two. All these consequences of hate, whether you are the one who feels or expresses it or the one who is targeted by it, depend on the level of love we have for the other person involved in the situation. When a stranger tells you how much they hate you, it shouldn’t mean much because you didn’t invest any love in them anyway. When a friend however, says the same, it can break your heart. You will relive in your head your good times and wonder what part of your history led to such harsh feelings. But when your husband tells you that he hates you…that can kill you. Not literally, but it can kill y...

STAR-CROSSED: NOT A LOVE STORY

We were in love once, But never at the same time. We were eighteen and I had him. Then we were nineteen and you had her. The summer before, I had lost him. Time marched on. We loved other people, And then you left the country for new opportunities. While you were gone, We both loved and lost some more.   I always joked that the stars didn’t align for us. Even still, words flowed between us. Letters floating through cyber-space. Thoughts tinged with unspoken love. Love we half-acknowledged. Love that wouldn’t, couldn’t, “be”.   In one of my last letters, I wrote: “I think I will always be a little bit in love with you.” And then I got married to the love of my life.   I have him now, And you have her. This is the way it has always been, and should be. But maybe… In another li...

ARE WE JUST FRIENDS?

My hair is long and soft, lying across your naked belly. You stroke it absentmindedly as I read you stories from an old literature book. I love these stories. Hidden gems that no one really reads any more. My copy of the book is tattered and soft with age and use. It feels like well worn leather and smells in that way that only old books do. I don’t think you enjoy the stories as much as I do, but you listen to me read just because you enjoy hearing my voice. You enjoy stroking my hair. My curls tangle as you pull them through your fingers, but neither of us minds. When you hit a snag, you delicately pick it out until my hair glides through your fingers again. I know my dark curls are so different from your silky straight blonde strands, and at first it made me self conscious even to...

REALIZING THAT HE ISN’T THE ONE (& LIKING IT)

He saved me. I hate to say it but he really did. For over a year I had be swimming around in confusion and putting my interests on anyone who would give me attention but never for long enough for me to care about them. I balanced on a wall leaning down to give time to anyone who asked for it but never jumped down into their arms because that would mean I might break. Then he came and I jumped off that wall faster than I could have ever fallen. I dove right into him and soaked myself in his love for months. It lifted me up and protected me. He took the time to know me and love every part of my aching soul. I was completely his and yet still free to live as I wanted. He helped me grow and he watered my roots every single day. We were unbreakable and ready to be together for the rest of our l...

WARRIOR BRIDE

She was putting on the final touches to her wedding make up when her soon to be sister in law entered the room. She turned around and asked, “Where did you get the set?” The sister in law answered, “My aunt gave me it to wear.” She got up from the stool and went to search for her soon to be mother in law. “Why did you open the suitcase and give the set to your niece without my permission?” “Permission? Now I have to get permission. Hmm. What’s yours is ours so it doesn’t matter. It looks good on her. I told her that her dearest Cousins wife gifted the set to her.” The girl was shell shocked and pissed off. Quietly she found the sister in law and asked her to remove the set. Took all her stuff from the room and marched to her dad. ...

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

“I don’t hate you, darling. Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to continue to stand by your side and be here for you.” After sitting on my bed, swallowing tears and clapping while yelling, “Keep it together! Keep it together!” I responded with love rather than lashing out like my brain wanted me to. “I don’t deserve you.” Was her response. In that moment, any normal person would have agreed and walked away right then and there. And maybe I would have if I were any “normal” person, but, I told her, “Let’s not talk about that right now. Getting through this is what matters.” Not everyone will understand my dedication to her during all of this. I’m not expecting anyone to. This was rock bottom. This was something even I didn’t know if I could handle sticking around for. This thing that ...

ME…MYSELF

I like to read, Yet don’t read books; I love to write, But unable to use heavy words; I love music, Yet an awful singer; I am a foodie, But can never taste well; I love to laugh around, Yet hide enormous tears inside; I’m having high goals, Yet carry a tedious posture; I want to live life, But struggle through every day and night;   Yes, I’m a sum of imperfect mess; But, You will fall for me, every time you’ll know me…   Author: Chandrima Mishra Email:  chandrima170516@gmail.com  Author Bio: A ragged mind, a lost soul, a deep thinker… looking for herself in this big world. Here to speak through the silence of words…penetrating your soul by it’s ecstasy. Link to ...

WITHOUT YOU

You had a Bud Light in your hand and I had an X on mine. Our eyes met each other the second you walked through the door and in that moment I knew. Our love started in a bar but was only active in bedrooms or secrecy. My heart broke everytime I had to leave you because I always wanted more. You talked about going back home and you lit a flame inside my heart. I dreamed about going back with you and feeling the air fill my lungs like you always told me about. You blew out the flame every other weekend because you’d remind me of all of my flaws and take out your sadness on me. I always let you because I thought being sad together was better than apart. I kept a suitcase packed for the nights I needed to stay somewhere else. You always invited me back so I would never go far. I woke up t...

HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?

Loving oneself is essential in order for us to show and appreciate the love of others.  Giving yourself the best treatment possible is not only a necessity it’s a requirement. Although, sometimes because of past relationships we forget how valuable we truly are.  We allow insignificant people to break us down.  Our soul and our spirit are the ones that suffer the most.  Even though we truly know our worth, our spirit doesn’t allow us to love ourselves the right way. In my personal experience, I have learned to say to hell with those people who choose to break my spirit because they will not have control over me any longer.  The mistake we make is giving someone that much control because we think they love us.  Our life is our own and we are the ones in the driver’s seat. ...

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