Love me tinder, love me sweet, or why girls still do online dating

Peer pressure in New York is much more than atmospheric, arterial and pressure in the heater. It is pretty hard to see a person in the city who proudly dines alone. And it’s not about pride at all. Those who chew their “Pedigree Pall” on the move, in the subway, or sitting on steps in the street with homemade mac and cheese in plastic reusable containers — those do not count. Having dinner alone is like a terrible nightmare in which you are naked in the street, and everyone laughs and points at you with a finger, and you cannot even move because you feel your knees getting weak. Eating alone in a restaurant is considered mauvais ton.

Even if you are hands down a business lady or CEO of a large transatlantic company, but what does it matter if you sit like a fool in a new beautiful dress and eat your salad alone.

There are three the most depressing days in the calendar: Christmas, New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day. It is crucially necessary to have a date on these days. Saturday still remains as a small weekly New Year’s Eve. Every single person is anxious regarding what to do. Everybody wants to have amazing plans. So they ask, and compare, who’s got better things to do. Life is about what happens with your Saturday night plans. Eh, what you’ve got to do. Like it, enjoy it, have a drink. And make plans for the next weekend.

It is simply indecent not to have plans for Saturday in New York City. Therefore, everything should be planned in advance, even love. Sometimes you lie about some existing plans, stumbling over words. But if you bluff, then bluff confidently, thus increasing your importance.

On Saturday people are trying to arrange their personal lives.

Online dating eases the objective to find love for one night or with possible subsequent joint mortgage obligations, depends on who gets luckier. It’s so simple — move your thumb to the right or to the left, as in like or do not like respectively. Tinder, HowAboutWe, OkCupid, Bumble, Match, Coffee Meets Bagel — these are all online dating websites and mobile applications by downloading which you find yourself at a supermarket of love. You can specify the parameters of interest: “quick match” with an option to enable geolocation settings and search nearby, filter on everything that can be measured, choose preferable religion, annual income, presence or absence of children, primary occupation, diet, schedule, etc.

At some point, dates really begin to resemble job interviews for the post of Head of the sales department of meatballs and coziness.

All dating apps are nothing but a wholesale of people and love. Like shopping at Costco. Membership-only warehouse club that provides a wide selection of merchandise. Free samples, take home in bulk. Return policy: you have up to 45 days to return items.

You can get it right away for a very expensive price or may be not certain about it and buy it anyway, knowing that you can return it.

People in New York City are all about keeping the distance and at the same time, they want to be closer. They are afraid of commitment because they are committed to lease, mobile and at least one-year work contract already. That is why love sublet and relation internship are so preferable. Today couples last not more than one song. It’s explainable. It’s New York! It’s endless opportunities! You can get anything you want. It’s an open market. And New York is the best city to be single. However, eventually, it is important to figure out what it is that you want. Otherwise one day you can end up at a flea market. As there is still a difference between “single” and “no one wants you”.

When it comes to dating, no warranty guaranteed. If you want warranty — get a toaster. But there’s always a friend of a friend of a friend who met someone online and is having the happily ever after since.

by Mila Lyons

Author of New Yorkers Hate Food and Privacy Policy novels.


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