I woke up one day thinking, “Holy crap, what in the world is going on?” I’m a mom, a wife, and an actual FREAKING adult! My mom just left town which left me a crying wife, because I had to figure out this new mama stuff on my own! “Alright,” I told myself, “you can do this!” The reality….I couldn’t. It took me THREE MORE YEARS (you read that right) to get myself back together mentally. When I say that, I’m speaking on the loving yourself part. You know, the part where you look in the mirror and think, “I am the best me I can be without any regrets whatsoever.” There were a few steps that I took (and am still taking) that I want every mom to know worked for me, and I know it can work for you too!
Step 1: Love Yours
Here’s my reality, my life isn’t perfect. There are at least 3 Barbie Dolls on my floor, dirty dishes in the sink, and bras that need washing by now for God’s sake! I look a wreck going to bed. I sometimes buy cheap dishwashing detergent to save myself an extra buck or two. I watch Pinterest and fail MISERABLY at MOST projects I work on. I try to take pictures when I think I’ve done an amazing job at cooking something to realize it looks like my three year old actually cooked the meal. Speaking of which we made biscuits the other day that my ancestors would look down at me in all their southern glory with disgust. With all that being said, do you know what? I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone else. I have learned to love my life….every single moment of it. There are some truly sucky moments where I look and get angry about it, but it takes me to my next point.
Step 2: Make a Checklist
I kid you not. I make a list on a consistent basis of the great things that happen in my life without me even trying to make them happen. Want an example? Today, I was running into Aldi, because well, I’m that person. If you work in retail, I’m truly sorry. If the store closes at 8, I come running in at 7:58. Retail workers at Aldi are truly angels. Anywho, back to my story. I end up running in and finding strawberry ice cream that is normally $4.00 at a price of $1.92. I added that to my checklist. A car let me out when it actually could have sped up like most drivers in Nashville tend to do. Add to the checklist. I came home and my daughter was immediately ready to go to bed. Add to the checklist. What am I saying? Here it is. Life is not all bad. It all comes from a matter of perspective. Look at your life. Evaluate the good. You may feel more of your problems seeking to arise. Don’t let them! Once upon a time, I panicked about finances. How would I make money by quitting teaching, because working was all I knew. However, when I shut off the panic and shifted my focus from the bad to good, opportunities fell into my lap. I truly had no idea where they were coming from!
Step 3: Get Connected
Do NOT…I repeat DO NOT isolate yourself. We all need a tribe. I come from a place where, truthfully, I’m still building a tribe. Find women with similar mindsets to yours. I, for one, struggle to surround myself with Pinterest mamas. I know, I know that is not a great thing to say, but I am not perfect okay?! I aim to surround myself with women who understand the struggle. Don’t fake it for me. I like to hang out with women who truly emulate the woman I am or aspire to be. This connects me more with my greatest potential. If I isolate myself, I find that I am more prone to become depressed and take out my burdens on my family which I definitely do not aim to do, but let’s be honest, many of us have done it (at least I’ll say I have).
Ladies, being a mom is not a walk in the park. From the stretch marks to the weight gain to the long nights to the loud days, we have to endure so much. One thing we cannot sacrifice any longer is our sanity. We need freedom. We need joy. Let’s work constantly each day to find just that!