Memories of the Past

And just like that

In an instant

All the anxiety

Comes flooding back

The smell of cigar smoke

Lingering on your shirt

The empty beer bottle

Left unhidden on your desk

With all the memories of the past

My heart beating faster in my chest

My mind begging myself

Not to text my ex

Because only he would understand

My mind screaming at myself

No, don’t let him back in

So instead, I sit here

Writing these thoughts

As if an answer will appear

By the end

And yet

I am still waiting

Still hoping

Maybe this time I am stronger

And do not need him to lean on

Maybe I won’t cry myself to sleep tonight

And the depression won’t paralyze me

Covering me like a blanket

Of warmth

Hiding me in all the things

I have already let go of

And forgiven


Maybe not

by esthergonzales75

I am a New Jersey based poet who aspires to share my story through poetry and prose focused on faith and my journey with depression. I have overcome many obstacles and I believe everyone has a story to tell, even if they haven't found the words yet. I hope my words can inspire others to believe in their purpose and to find strength to climb the next mountain.

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