Miscellaneous

BRIDESMAID-ING: 8 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

He asked. She said yes. And then? She asked you. Minutes after he was no longer just her boyfriend, you were no longer just her friend. You were someone she’d want up there helping her seal the deal. It’s an honor! It’s also not about you. And sometimes that’s the hardest part. Over the past year I’ve gotten married and stood up in four other weddings. Having done the preparations numerous times, I thought I’d share some tips I’ve learned for bridesmaid-ing well. Brides aren’t the only ones who can earn the “zilla” added to their name. We’ve all gotta do our part not to lose our cool on the big day. Here are eight things that have helped me!    1. Celebrate; don’t control.  We can all agree that weddings are some of the BEST events of the year. And yet, there is a tendency in all of us to ...

IDENTITY

I’ve always been good in school. I take pride in working too hard and feeling exhausted at the end of the day. I don’t like being tired, and I wish I had more time to do the things I loved. I always get good grades in school, and even in college receiving a B seems like a failure. My parents are divorced. Maybe I never forgave myself for that even though I was two-years-old and had nothing to do with it. I sing because music is uncomplicated and real, and because people tell me I have a nice voice. My voice is my strongest connection to my mother. I buy too many clothes and take too good of care with my shoes. I think shoes are my favorite things to buy because they always look good on me no matter how I feel about my body. My feet are cute enough, for feet; probably because I never stuck ...

SOMETIMES I HEAR MY MOTHER

My mom always told me I could be a writer, but she never taught me to stand up for myself.  She always told me I had to go to college, but she never explained the difference between love and sex.  I can’t count the number of times she yelled that I had no common sense, but she never asked about my homework.  She mastered the art of a guilt trip, but could never quite figure out how to ask me how my day was.  Sometimes when I sing out loud, her voice comes out. It’s one of the few things from my past that comforts me. To young ears she sang like an angel. I loved hearing her sing.  Now sometimes when I sing out loud, I hear her voice, like picking up scraps of my past, picking through the detritus left on the ground, piece by piece, and choosing which parts to shovel into the trash. I want ...

ON BEING ASIAN AMERICAN

There has been so much discussion about race in America. I’m not going to make any comments on what I think is right or wrong. I just want to share my experience as an Asian-American. There is an interesting intersection as an Asian in America – first generation Chinese-American, to be more specific. Even though we, generally, do better for minorities, we are often seen as foreigners. Smart. But nonetheless, we are seen as “others.” We are seen as exotic, foreign, even oriental (like a rug…). Growing up, my family was isolated. My parents didn’t know English very well, so they stayed within their own bubble. After my dad immigrated here, he slowly brought family members over, one by one. I can’t imagine how lonely it was when he was here by himself...

THE DEATH OF HARAMBE DEMONSTRATES AMERICA’S ENGRAINED HYPOCRISY

Last year, the country broke out in rage when the 17-year-old silverback gorilla, Harambe, was killed. Cincinnati zoo officials were forced to make the difficult decision to kill Harambe after a 3-year-old boy crawled into the enclosure and fell into a 12-foot-long moat. Harambe drug the boy through the moat and inadvertently risked ending the boy’s life. The encounter lasted 10 minutes before the decision was made to kill Harambe and save the little boy. This incident obviously shows a severe lack of responsibility of the zoo and a degree of negligence of the parents, but more importantly, it shows the extreme hypocrisy of the American people. First of all, many people responded to this violent tragedy and parent’s reckless behavior with violent and thoughtless remarks. There ...

PROVE YOURSELF

“Prove yourself”: a very commonly heard phrase that maybe your friends would have told you; might be your mother; your teacher must’ve asked you to prove yourself by getting straight As; could be the society that must have told you to prove your worth to the sexist, patriarchal society. Most probably, you would have told that to yourself before going to bed with tearful eyes gleaming in the mirror– “I need to prove myself. I need to show them what I am made of!” with full determination. But what if I say today that you’ve been clueless all your life, that what actually is the ‘proof’ that everyone is asking you to show for proving yourself? Since I was a little girl I have constantly heard other people asking my parents twice if they do not have a son because girls cannot be their he...

MURPHY’S LAW

Murphy’s Law states, “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” My life as of late has been a living example of Murphy’s Law. Ever feel like that? This article could be of use to you. I’ll start with saying that I’m lucky. I’m genuinely lucky because I’ve had grandparents and parents who have pushed me (although kicking and screaming at times) to get a college education. They pushed me to work when I turned 16 and pushed me to “never quit” and “stick the team out until the end of the season”. They even pushed me to shoot for my dreams of pursuing the production industry even though I know they winced at the thought of “freelance”. Aside from all that luck, education and pushing from loved ones, I’m still finding myself stuck in Murphy’s Law. I’m so stuck that I’ve been without a steady j...

THIS IS 30.

“Don’t tell me our youth is running out It’s only just begun.” – Foxes “OMG, you’re turning 30… how do you feel about that?” I’m asked as though the moment I go from age 29 to age 30 that I’ll magically be transported into some state of infinite wisdom that I can bestow upon my younger friends. Or way less glamorous than that: I’ll be in complete and utter devastation. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but turning 30 has been oddly unceremonious. This could be due to the fact that, as I keep telling you guys, I feel like I’m still 17, and this denial tactic has served me perfectly well throughout my 20s. But the truth is that in my experience, there has been no grandiose moment. No marching band, no confetti falling from the sky. Just another day, a mild hangover and slight back pain. To...

SELF-TITLED

I miss the good old days when I was given a title. The title came neatly packaged with a full description mapping out 50 to 60 hours of my week. A one page present of convenience. When living in the corporate world explaining what I did for a living was never worrisome. When someone asked, “What do you do?” I didn’t have to think. The answer was written for me. I was a coordinator or a specialist or senior account executive. It was even typed out on a 2 1/2 x 3 inch card in case I forgot. When uttered, these titles were often accepted without explanation. It was an easy exchange. Titles, particularly job titles, are a funny thing. They can hold immense weight in the description of a person. It can determine salary and how close you park to the office. It can determine the...

PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME

As a lifelong writer and performer, I have never experienced such a powerful moment on stage or on the page as I did recently. I’d love to tell you about it – and the room where it happened. The Morris-Jumel Mansion, built in 1765, is one of those irreplaceable New York treasures that I hope everyone has heard of. New York City’s oldest house has the kind of history one might expect: an important Revolutionary War site that, through history, housed famous (and infamous) founding fathers and dignitaries, as well as being a focal point of numerous hauntings. Lin-Manuel Miranda helped put the mansion into the spotlight recently, having written a significant portion of the Broadway sensation Hamilton under its eaves, in Aaron Burr’s old bedroom. The recent PBS Hamilton documentary featured the...

SOCIAL MEDIA: QUALITY VS. QUANTITY

Social Media is becoming an ever prevalent figure in today’s society- numbers of followers, likes, retweets and shares far outnumbering any other measure of popularity. But the credibility of this is something which is to be debated. I, for one, know that if I were shown two fashion sites on twitter and I were to find one had 12.1K followers and the other had 100, I would be far more likely to follow the first, simply due to numbers. Surely that many people couldn’t be wrong? I would then exit the second, no further thought gone on to the subject matter. But is this just shallow? Am I just judging something based on an initial impressive performance? I could find that the brand I followed – whilst having such a vast number of followers – actually receives no interaction from an...

RAINBOW WARRIOR – A SONG, A VIDEO AND AN IDEOLOGY

This is 2017. A year that may invoke fear in the hearts of some. For others, it is a year that invokes a sense of responsibility to be creating music to combat such fear. Introducing: TOMBOi – a three piece set of heartthrobs from Jacksonville, Florida. Really, this trio is an all-female queer band that has been creating music for the past three years in this band, but have been playing music for over a decade. TOMBOi just released their first LP: SPECTRUM. Alongside such a powerful project is the premiere of the music video for the track “Rainbow Warrior”. TOMBOi is made up of Alex E. on vocals, keys, digital programing and guitar, Paige McMullen on guitar and Summer Wood on drums -> each player just as unique as the sounds they create. I caught the band in the middle of their mo...

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