Now, I can see

There are so many ways to be alive

and I want them all

Twisted as they are

My sculptured moments shape everything and nothing all at once

Whatever I’ve built

Whatever I’ve known

Can be gone with the wind the moment I open my fingertips

The path I’ve been walking

The doors I have chosen

I can walk another,

choose another

I have chosen

Something entirely my own, entirely unknown

Something that reminds me where my happiness lives

For a while I thought I wouldn’t feel her anymore

I have been run tired,

but I’m resting

I have been hurt,

but I’m healing

I am giving my spirit time to stand again

She desired something so fiercely

She held it, she throttled herself into it

and now its over

though now its begun

so now what’s left?

Absolutely everything

Everything she’s never touched

Everything she never dreamed of becoming

(not since being elbows height anyway)

Everything that’s yet to come, to create, to enjoy

is still there

Its been lovely to persevere

We’ve been doing it a long time

But that mode is a riverbed now

Constant, carrying, full of tears and currents

It is not enough to simply persevere anymore

We are so beyond

For the first time in years I feel like exploding

I have missed it so

No one has taken it from me

No one can

I hid it from myself,

but now I can see

Now, I can see as if it was all I was ever meant to do

Wake up and see,

look inward and see,

look around me and see

And for the first time in my life

I can hold it all at once

I have a table big enough for every guest

I have a love in my heart, a lump in my throat

for each and every piece

And just like that the wind blows,

taking with her all the weight

I carried boulders up until now

Boulders in my pockets,

and on my shoulders, in my sleeves

To keep from blowing away

But now I can see

and I would they just blow away like paper

Pages, blank canvases

Scribbled raw and wiped anew

They fill the sky above me,

touching down and lifting off

A sky suddenly glowing pearly white with paper and light

Clouds abated, giddily running

I hear my own voice

She doesn’t speak from my feet on the ground

She doesn’t care much for the past

Nor the papers, nor the clouds,

nor the riverbed

and certainly not the boulders

I can feel her clearly, running amidst the light

I can hear her within me

Teaching me, again

What I used to think was solid,

made of anchors and bricks,

is not

“And isn’t that wonderful news?,” she says

What I used to think was Me,

was not

It never was

Now, I can see

What’s Me in me doesn’t exist where I put it

But in the sky, in the light,

and in the wind

by misskurlykay

My name is Kalyn West. Originally from Salt Lake City, UT; I'm one of three girls by a superhuman mother.
I am an actor/singer/dancer in New York - most recently in "The Prom" on Broadway. To be nutshell short...

My love for the arts began young. My mother used to say that I was dancing before I could walk and singing before I could talk. I discovered my passion to tell stories around high school, and never looked back. Fast forward to me living in New York as of 2013. The next love. For a few years I taught fitness. Specifically HIIT dance cardio, and circuit training. I'd always loved pushing my own body to its potential, but through teaching I discovered just how much I love awakening others to the strength within themselves. There's a particular beautiful moment - when they seem to wake up - that pure joy spreads like sunlight over their face. It's magical. But back to being nutshell short & super young. My first love was writing. I used to evaluate my world and emotions through the lens of poetry, and paste them up like wallpaper in my room. I'd sort through the chaos of my life in essays most persuasive, and stitch together pieces blown apart with the best quality perspectives I could muster. I'd paste them up everywhere. Memory wall paper. Sensory, vibrant, palpable. Reminders. Motivators.

That's where I come from.
I always loved using my voice, but I haven't always believed I have something to say. I believe it now. I've spent my time and efforts telling other people's stories, spreading other people's messages, and now I want to share my own. That's why I'm here. I would like to "harness" my three loves, create works that fill cups and heal hearts, and share it all through my voice. I've waited long enough. Sometimes it's just time to start. xo

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