Mental Health

painted mirrors

you look in the mirror

and all you hear is

you’re worthless

you glance around

at the pile of books

on your desk 

the never ending to do list 

and they scream at you 

you can’t do this 

everything has become a chaotic blur 

so you paint the mirrors

hoping to add some color back 

into this black and white world 

because every time you see the 

reflection staring back at you 

you don’t recognize her 

her once bright eyes

seem so empty now 

and there’s this gray cloud 

hanging over her head

the guilt and shame 

fear, anxiety, and depression 

weighing down her shoulders 

like a load of bricks 

she lost herself in the doubt 

she lost the vision she had for her future

in the constant fear of nightmares 

keeping her awake 

she has become so used to walking in the dark 

that she hasn’t realized

the sun is rising for her 

she has held on for so long 

maybe, the mountains have given her strength 

for the next valley in sight 

and maybe 

the words swirling around her mind 

that depression 

so eagerly finds a way into 

are actually everything she is not 

she glances in the mirror 

and whispers 

I am not a mistake 

slowly, a smile touches her lips 

I am loved 

she says with confidence 

I am worthy 

I can do this 

I am a capable 

I am strong 

I am brave

I am worthy 

depression finds its way when you least expect it 

its power wears you down until you question who you really are

but if you remember the strength inside you 

that has waited for the sunrise 

you will see the light pour in 

through your window 

and your eyes will shine a little brighter 

you are not the lies depression tries so desperately to convince you of 

you are so much more 

you are more than the sleepless nights 

you are more than the pain 

you are more 

you are more 

I am too

by esthergonzales75

I am a New Jersey based poet who aspires to share my story through poetry and prose focused on faith and my journey with depression. I have overcome many obstacles and I believe everyone has a story to tell, even if they haven't found the words yet. I hope my words can inspire others to believe in their purpose and to find strength to climb the next mountain.

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