Partner First, Lover Second

Lovers are commonplace. You can find them in any cafe, lurking around any bar late at night. They haunt the pages of social media and dating apps, smiling invitingly as you swipe right or left. They are amusing for a time, with their easy manners and preference for games. That heart stopping moment when you receive a text after so much suspense; hours maybe days of waiting. That’s all part of the fun [of course].

That lover will eventually fizzle out – they always do. With the novelty worn off, you soon see the tedium in their distraction, the vacuousness of their words. But as they are commonplace you do not worry too much. There will be another. Another affable distraction to while away the hours between day and night, work and sleep.

Until you meet your partner. That rare being that belongs only to the older generation; an archaic idea from the era of shoulderpads, Rubik’s Cubes and the Walkman. You are disconcerted at first. They do not play games so you do not know the rules. They speak seriously and with purpose, talking of the future rather than the past, speaking with emotion rather than apathy.

They show up when they say they will and give you space when you ask for it. They choose to call rather than text and text rather than remain silent. They do not ‘ghost,’ ‘breadcrumb’ or ‘negg’ and your parents are excited to meet them; perhaps only because they know they exist.

If you find this mythical creature, do not take them for granted. Whilst they are different to their commonplace counterparts, they do not have endless patience, they are not infallible. They are simply genuine; they know what they want and what they want is you. Accept that and return their sentiments in kind.

Remember that they are a partner first and a lover second; and this is an important distinction. Do not degrade your partner by treating them as a mere lover, they are so much more than that. They are your best friend, your confidant, your teacher, your defender, your partner in crime, and of course your lover. But above all they are the person that you weather life’s trials with and bask in it joys. They are, in every sense of the word, your other half.

by Megan Davies

I am a writer based in Brighton, UK. I am a creative writer at my heart with a lot of my work being poetry and novels, however I also enjoy writing about health, travel and development both professional and personal.

When I am not writing you will find me curled up with a good fantasy or historical novel, baking up a storm in the kitchen or taking long country walks with my trusty Cockapoo Ralph.

Here are some articles that have been published previously when I was a writer for Women Fitness:


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