lemme start off by saying NO I WASN’T HACKED. THIS IS ME. I am the lost Puzzle Piece. The one & only you’ve all come to know & avoid. if you’re getting this it’s because you’re one of the many people that chipped away at my soul. By taking my kindness for granted, or by zoning in on my weak spots to hurt me or by trying to rape or take advantage of me when I was homeless. maybe you’re the ex boyfriend that tried to take off my pants when I was passed out in a hotel bed with a 102° fever. maybe you’re the homeless shelter ra that watched me get threatened & stood by & laughed cuz I’m white & it was amusing to you. maybe you’re the Marine “mouse ” Torres that raped me in a motel one of the many times I was homeless & left $2 on the side table for my train fare. Maybe you’re a guy that asked me to marry you & cheated on me the next day sending me pictures. Maybe you were 1 of a seemingly endless line of guys thar saw how deep i loved & just used me. You made me feel like nothing. But im sure you already knew that. Maybeyou’re someone who made me feel like I’m worth nothing but sex. Maybe you just led me on. or maybe youre someone who i saw something good in but you let me down..maybe you’re my mom…i doubt it cuz she never reads anything I wrote. maybe you’re my mom who abused me for years & slapped on a smile when anyone was around so you could convince them all I was crazy. maybe you’re my dad…..a dad’s supposed to protect their daughter… But you never did. you & mom broke my heart long before any boy ever could. maybe you were one of the MANY people that were just awful to me & bullied me. maybe you made up lies about me or got me fired. maybe u just weren’t ever there for me when I needed you the most. hell..most of you actively avoided me when you knew I needed you most. some of you would call me “troubled or crazy ” cuz I saw through all the conditioned societal bullshit that we’re all “supposed to be” & I thought maybe if I could love hard enough or be nice enough it would change the world. Butit never stopped any of you from being terrible. it never stopped you from breaking my heart. or using me for selfish gain. sometimes I feel like my souls just about to float outta my body & up to the sky. maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. It’s never ok to be emotional today. you’d all rather “fuck” then just…BE. love. sex is fast but a phone call is always too much to ask for. or a cuddle. I love cuddles cuz even though i know that I have nobody cuddling makes me feel LESS alone. But I’m so exhausted. im so tired of all you treating me like I’m nothing. But maybe I am. that’s what I feel like. if you can imagine the smallest speck of dust in the galaxy being broken into even smaller pieces. that’s what I feel like. nothingness. dust. why can’t you just be good to me? why don’t my parents love me? I wonder that one alot. I try not to but.. It’s really hard not having a family. I don’t mean a family by blood. I mean a REAL family. it’s hard to not feel like nothing when you got nothing. if you got this…you broke my heart. you contributed to me needing to leave & never come back. maybe when I’m gone you’ll all realize how much the things that SEEM like “little things” count. cuz they do. every text ignored. every truth not spoken. And every heart you’ve purposely broken. it matters. big or small. I hope nobody ever makes you feel the way you made me feel. I’m the lost puzzle piece that doesn’t fit anywhere. Nobody Knows where i go. So you leave me behind the tv set to collect dust. But neither do i. I wish you nothing but love.
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