There are enough challenges and negative comments in the world. Why must I give myself more stress and more worries on top of all the other challenges I face in a day?
I have read that talking to yourself is healthy. It stimulates your memory, and for some, it helps clarify and focus their thought patterns. What happens when you are a chronic negative self talker? Clearly that is NOT healthy, but how can you change a behavior that has been with you for years? Is it even possible?
I’ve always been a big dreamer. I have also watched many of those dreams drift away as my negative thoughts always move in and replace the dream with all the reasons why it will never come to fruition. But this time it’s different. This dream just won’t go away, not matter how many times I try to beat it back with my endless negativity.
Anyone working a side hustle knows the daily challenges — how do I make time for this hustle and pay the bills? How do I grow this following into paid income? Is anyone actually seeing my work? And when those questions start building, they often get followed by the big one… Is all this time and effort and work really worth it?
I started my home decor & DIY blog in January. The following September, I left a well paying job, albeit so stressful it was physically making me sick. I took a part time job to pay the bills, and I now spend the balance of my day focusing my efforts on how I can turn this blogger/interior stylist dream into a full-time gig. The biggest challenge I’ve faced to date? Myself. The self doubt. The burnout. The constant fear of failure. I find it so easy to tell myself this dream is silly.
“No one is reading your blog.”
“Why work this hard on something that is growing so slowly?”
Those thoughts are typically followed by a good cry and a big glass of wine. Okay, more often than not it’s a whole bottle. I go to bed fully ready to accept failure, yet I wake up re-ignited and ready to give it another go. It’s a viscous, viscous cycle.
As I mentioned earlier, the world is full of negativity. We hear it everyday from the news, from our competitors, from our haters; why do we make it worse on ourselves? After a recent low point — you know the one, the big meltdown — It is that moment of total exhaustion, followed by the sobbing, ugly cry, the one typically saved for quiet spaces like your bathroom, or bedroom closet. Mine came at that perfect time; 15 minutes before I had to leave for work. I wiped up the mascara and told myself “no more.” No more negativity, no more negative self talk. And, hopefully, no more meltdowns crying in the bathroom.
When I get that nagging sensation of “I’m not good enough” or “this isn’t going anywhere,” I stop. I stop and say “Hey Self, please get out of my way.” A simple, polite command that makes me stop and re-direct. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and I have had some great success along the journey. No need to to throw it all out because of one criticism, or one negative thought.
Will it work every time? Probably not. Yeah, this negativity thing is hard to kick! I am now acutely aware of how easy it can become to go down the rabbit hole. One negative thought leads to another, but now I know how to stop the downward spiral.
This passion I have isn’t dying down, and I’m not ready to let it go of my dream. Re-directing my though pattern and letting go of the negativity allows space for more creativity, more productive work flow, more conversations with others on this path facing many of the same challenges I struggle with everyday.
So far all the chronic negative self talkers out there — I hope this is one small nugget you can take with you. I know your type, and I know at first read you’re thinking “this sounds ridiculous.” Give it a shot. I promise it’s worth it.
Here is to getting out of our own way and moving on to something so much greater that we have dreamed up for ourselves!
Author: Alisa Canter
Author Bio: I am a newbie blogger sharing my love of flea market flips and DIY hacks with the world! I want to share my passion for unique and budget friendly home decor with others looking to update their home without breaking the bank.