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BUILDING TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: LESSONS FROM A CHEATER

How I Arrived to Where I Am Now I cheated on my boyfriend of five years with the man that is now my husband. My now-husband was torn when I made my first move, too good of a man to consider being the “other man.” I persisted and, in the end, we had a brief romance. It all occurred in the weeks leading up to my departure. What was meant to exist on its own, inside a hermetically-sealed bubble, was actually the undoing of my five-year relationship with my boyfriend. I was the instigator of its demise because I knew that this had been more than a fling. I knew that my would-be-husband was something far more. But I had no idea, nor model, for how one goes from being the “piece on the side” to being “the main dish.” Based on my time with my boyfriend, I swore I knew what it would all look like....

MOTHERLESS SONGBIRDS

My yearbooks as far as first grade are filled with notes from teachers saying they can’t wait to see me on TV when I get older, singing and accepting Grammys. My childhood videos show me lining stuffed animals up as an audience and singing passionately into a karaoke machine for my guests. I’ve always loved to sing, and honestly, don’t remember a time I didn’t. I come from a line of singers. My grandmother is a singer. She’s the deep, rich baritone with a voice that can literally shake a room. My mother is a singer. She’s the crystal clear, high soprano with a voice that sounds like clear blue skies. Then there’s me. I’m the soulful, middle alto with a voice somewhere in-between the two of them. But as I grew older, I realized singing wasn’t the only thing we had in common.t The tale of my...

DITCH THE DRAMA, BE JOY

Today was another test, not one of epic proportion, but one that definitely derailed my peace. One where I’m preparing to head to yoga and then that stressful email comes in. I make a call to hurry up and fix the stressful thing. You know that feeling—the one where you just need to have control over this thing right now before you get to the next thing, which for me was my yoga mat. And then it rains on my outdoor yoga class, so now I have time to get back on the phone and try to fix the unfixable today. I’ve seen this before and know this drill so well—and I’m a coach who works with highly motivated, successful people. I have plenty of experience helping others understand that we need to breathe, that we can’t control everything that happens to us every minute of e...

TODAY

Today I crossed paths again with the necessity of having you between my legs deep inside, ’til you reach my inner core. I remember that moment of realization that miracles were possible the first time I looked into your eyes. Right after, the magic and hope returned to me. Yes, it is true. I would not lie, getting under your sheets was a memorable adventure. A mistake I would not mind drowning in repeatedly. Today I crossed paths again with that part of myself that never hides, but I never face. The one encouraging me to run away, to stop in front of your toes. To kiss you again, kiss you to death and keep running, keep hunting the shades (of us). Today I will jump to the abyss of my memories. I will turn to dust my mystery/misery to play the happily ever after. Today, today will be ...

WORKSHOP: NARROWING IN ON YOUR IDEAS

I Don’t Need Help Coming Up With Ideas—I Need To Know Which To Go After Next What you’ll need: Notebook, pen, and Wild Heart flowchart (attached) I recently taught a creativity workshop to a group of writers and artists who were struggling to get started on their “Next Big Thing”. The classes had been broken into three sessions: ideas, structure and work-life balance. Out of all three, the ideas session had the fewest participants, despite the S.O.S. call from creatives for help kick-starting their art. When I brought this up to the group, one woman replied, “It’s not that I don’t have ideas. I just can’t seem to make the leap from lots of ideas to following through on just one.” Enter the creative person’s endless struggle: too many ideas and not enough days in a lifetime to g...

IN THE DIRECTION OF PEACE

my path to walking in the direction of peace.  my path to self-love, my path to balance. Step One: FORGIVING MYSELF. Forgiving myself for two years ago, forgiving myself for yesterday. Recognizing that I have made mistakes, and will continue to make mistakes, and that it is okay to make mistakes. Not blaming the world, others or circumstances that I was born into, but rather accepting my control, my power—my power to move forward, living with no regrets, forgiving myself. Not expecting perfection, but expecting my best at that moment. Step Two: SPENDING TIME ALONE.  Spending time with myself so that I can learn about myself, better myself, find strength within myself, spoil myself, pamper myself and LOVE myself. Not feeling guilty about this “me” time.    Step Three: KNOWING WHAT I WANT. M...

3 STEPS TO DECLUTTER YOUR BUSINESS

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, “declutter your space for improved business efficiency.”  And I know you’re thinking it’s easier said than done, but decluttering your space can help declutter your brain, making you less stressed and more productive. We all know that typical decluttering strategies involve clearing our desks and organizing our files, but I want to dig deeper into not only decluttering, but how to stay organized in your entire life and business. To get started on business decluttering I suggest using a systematic method that includes not only your business routines, but your home and lifestyle to ensure a holistic approach. Focusing on the entire process rather than focusing exclusively on organizing possessions or “things” will make your business and personal time more e...

SHOES

That day, she wanted to look beautiful. Three girlfriends would be waiting at Victoria station early in the morning, charmingly groomed to blend in with the flower fields at Mayfield Lavender Farm. It was the first time this summer she had the appetite for prettying up. In fact, it had been a long time since she last did something for herself, just to feel good, and not to be flattered by others. Jessica Parker had split up with her boyfriend exactly 34 days ago. If it had not been for an infidelity, she would have stayed unhappily tied, without doing anything about it. She woke up fresh, freed from the after-party sour breath that was all too usual in her Saturday mornings. She smirked softly, thinking about how she had stayed at home the night before just to wash her best looking dress. ...

TO BE

Rocks in her hands That she thought were diamonds Carried them with her For far too long Weighed her down She walked wondering why These jewels hadn’t made her brighter But had pulled her towards pain Shackled her to the steps she’d Taken before When the sun rose and The rocks didn’t sparkle She dropped them in the river For someone else Searching for gold She felt light, strong Feet taking off A flight so free She saw it was simply To be That made her glisten Like a ruby     Author: Sandra Collopy Email: sandracollopy@verizon.net Link to  website: https://suchsweetthings.wordpress.com

THE FRIENDSHIP BREAKUP

I remember when I first wrote this post, under the same name, when I knew our friendship was over, but before you’d ever said so. I remember writing it, without knowing the full details, accepting a future I knew was inevitable. I bet, K, you assumed that I wrote that piece after what you did—all of it. But I didn’t. I wrote it at Christmas. A Christmas I’m sure you remember well, because you spent it in America. I knew before Christmas. No one else did, and everyone else assumed we were still inseparable, the best of friends. Did you know, K, on my last day, Sophie caught me sobbing? And do you know what she said to me, K? “Don’t worry, Carla. It doesn’t matter what she did to you. You have amazing people like K in your life. You know K would never hurt you like that; you two have always ...

ATTENTION SOCIETY – MAKE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT MAKEUP

You’ve most likely heard them before—the inconsistencies and hypocrisies over wearing makeup. If you wear too much, you’re criticized for ‘painting’ your face, looking ‘slutty’, or even being unattractive. You must be, right? After all, look at all the makeup you have to wear in order to look decent! Then, of course, you have the people who criticize those who don’t wear makeup. Why? Because not wearing makeup has somehow become a sign of not caring about ourselves, of not wanting to look good, or of being lazy. So really, we can’t win either way. Women are either obsessed with their looks because they wear makeup, or don’t care about physical appearance because they don’t wear enough makeup, or any at all. The truth of the matter is, that the reason for women choosing to wear makeup or no...

THE ROAD TO SELF-LOVE

My dear life I am done I am done waiting for love I am done hiding behind the mask of a reckless nonchalant woman available for hunters to make a pass and I’m tired of being hunted down like a sheer piece of meat whose blood has flown into mouths of hunters shrinking it each time into even more pallid a mass. My dear life I am done I am done taking blames I am done accepting without refutal the hints of insinuations of infidelity and the skewed reality you slyly keep planting in my jarred head while the fact remains that my quest was, has been for love you always deprived me of, I slipped seeing the slightest signs of broken hearts never realizing the broken ones had already exhausted their reserves and you ruthlessly labeled every slip of mine as a conscious dive into a sea of lust....

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