inspiration

DITCH THE DRAMA, BE JOY

Today was another test, not one of epic proportion, but one that definitely derailed my peace. One where I’m preparing to head to yoga and then that stressful email comes in. I make a call to hurry up and fix the stressful thing. You know that feeling—the one where you just need to have control over this thing right now before you get to the next thing, which for me was my yoga mat. And then it rains on my outdoor yoga class, so now I have time to get back on the phone and try to fix the unfixable today. I’ve seen this before and know this drill so well—and I’m a coach who works with highly motivated, successful people. I have plenty of experience helping others understand that we need to breathe, that we can’t control everything that happens to us every minute of e...

4 STEPS TO REINVENTION & GROWTH: HAWAII STYLE

I recently spent a glorious two weeks in Hawaii and experienced the beauty of Oahu and the Hawaiian Islands. For the two weeks that I was there, I was in constant admiration of the view, the water, the trees and a permanent smile lit up my face…. I’m sure the few Mai Tais also helped. Even on the last day, I was still happy snapping the view and sunsets, saying to my husband and friends “can you believe how gorgeous it is?” Not even Hurricane Lane threatening to hit our island during our first week could dampen the holiday. We prepared ourselves as best we could, stayed calm, and made the most of every day, having a hurricane party in our room during lockdown while the kids created their own Britain’s Got Talent show.   Now I’m not going to lie, there have been a few of our overseas ...

REIGNITING YOUR LIFE

What do you do when the spark is gone? With work, with life, with love—with it all. When things just aren’t shining like they used to, aren’t syncing like they should, and life is just a lot harder than it needs to be. I signed up for a three-day wellness retreat this past weekend and learned quite rapidly exactly the key to reigniting your life. You look inside, you go within yourself, you get to the root of things.    It’s oh-so-easy to cover up that restless antsy feeling of not quite being happy with your life. For me, that meant shopping trips (all the retail therapy), an endlessly busy schedule, and a million activities and social engagements. So, I was left exhausted and too tired to really think about things, because that kind of thinking was uncomfortable and I wasn’t going to slo...

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Changing your perspective can truly change how you parent. Many parents see their children as difficult, delicate, fragile, limited, needy, or incapable. Clients come to me expressing how strong-willed their children are or how stubborn, determined, or persistent they can be. Well, I say, “Those are some great traits to have as adults.” Wouldn’t you agree? So why not guide them in the right direction, where they can still have those traits and you are still in charge. Your children are not aliens that are impossible to understand. They are just smaller human beings looking for the same things we need as adults.   As adults, we need rules, words of affirmation, discipline, and consistency as much as our children do. These are the things that make us feel in control, safe, loved, and success...

WHEN YOU ARE BATTLING DREAMS VS. REALITY

“If you can think of a goal you want, and if you can see it unraveling in your mind as you visualize it, the next step is to bring it to life. Speak it into existence, feed it life so it can progress into reality, think of a dream as a person who you are one step closer to becoming, the more you start believing it is not as far as your mind makes it be” – H.C  As I write this, life is not a massive rock on my shoulder, as it usually seems to be. Mostly because of today, all the things I imagined and worked hard to make reality have happened.  Dreams can feel like they rarely take the form of reality, but when they do, as J Cole says, “it’s a beautiful thing.” And ever since I heard that song, I envisioned them in front of me. I have sung the song “...

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL, JUST NOT ALL AT ONCE…WRONG

I heard a saying a few years ago that really resonated, and I latched onto it: “you can have it all, just not all at once.” I was wrong!  The statement was made in relation that not all of your life can be all that you want it to be at once. There will always be something that is sacrificed while other areas are peaking, and that’s ok. It pretty much nails the definition of sacrifice: give up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations.  Just accept it knowing other areas are doing great and you can’t have everything.  I latched onto this at the time because it was what I needed to hear. It made it ‘ok’ in my mind to sacrifice happiness in some areas and it gave me an excuse. I created that belief. It wasn’t a belief that I was happy with those areas or that I’d accepted it for...

WINGS

Something I’ve come to know is that once a wound has been created within – it can only be healed within.   We think that if we can just change the people who created the wound, or if we could just get someone to understand, it would heal us.   It’s this deep unconscious drive, but the wound still festers.  It still breathes.   Aching.   Longing – for that one person who can love and understand it in a way that no one else can.   And you know who that person is?  That person is yourself.  You.  Wonderful you.  Because you are the one who survived.  You are the one who lived through it.  And you are the only one who truly and deeply knows just what you survived.  As much as you may think that if you could be loved just right by that one person, or get the world to understand in j...

COMPETE WITH NOBODY BUT YOURSELF AND WIN

We are in competition with no ONE, but ourselves and every day is a reminder that you are only going to get as far as you are willing to go. What other people think you’re capable of is none of your business.  Here are some things that help me keep this mindset alive:  Keep your focus on what you want, but balance out your time to also work on what you have now.  Do not compare yourself to someone else. Stop dwelling on what others may think of your dreams or plan because that will only push them farther away from you. You are capable of great things. Start to believe it everywhere you go.  What other people estimate about you, has nothing to do with you. Fight for your dreams.  The only real enemy and obstacles are yourself, and your willingness. Get up every day with a purpose. Whe...

TRUE SELF–WHAT EVEN IS THAT?

For so damn long, I was scared of being seen as my true self. After what felt like a lifetime of mental and emotional abuse, I created a story in my head that people expected me to show up perfect, that I had to have it all together, look like a goddess, have the perfect home, say the right things, act like the perfect mom, hide all my realities, deny all my fears, have all the answers and please everyone on every level. It drove me to a point where I lost myself and began playing someone that was unrealistic and totally not me. It got to a point where I became so worried about what other people thought of me that it drove me into a depression. I was so scared to do wrong that I shut myself into my own little world and wouldn’t let anybody in. I was scared of living, ashamed of havin...

INNER DIALOGUE

Our health depends not only on what we eat or the amount of exercise we do; it also depends on our internal dialogue and how we treat ourselves. The words we use with ourselves can affect us more than we think. Our well-being depends on everything we do, how we think and how we act. Sometimes we are offended by what others say about us, but if we compare it with the criticisms we constantly put ourselves down with, we will see that our internal dialogue is a lot more intense, harsh and picky. The words that we identify ourselves with are those that create our reality and as a consequence affirm our beliefs. If we are constantly judging ourselves and belittling our internal or material work, it is not a surprise to have others doing the same, and by feeling or seeing this, we get irritated ...

LOST AND FOUND

Almost every summer my family makes the trip out to North Carolina for a weeklong vacation. We’ve been doing this practically every year since I was two or so, yet every year is filled with its own unique sense of adventure. When I was around the age of fifteen, I was sitting on a the pier closest to where we were staying and I had just taken a break from drawing in the little notebook I carried with me everywhere I went. As I was just watching the waves and the people on the shore and the seagulls flying overhead, not really thinking about anything in particular, a fisherman looked over at me and asked if I was alright. “I’m sorry?” I asked in return. “Darlin’, you look like a lost soul if I’ve ever seen one.” I think I just kind of smiled and assured the man I was alright, just enjoying ...

PEACE WITHIN: A TALE OF ACCEPTANCE

I used to think I was invincible. Nothing could hurt me without me fighting back. Then I realized I was my strongest when I accepted pain, when I saw ‘letting go’ as a state of being and not a forced action, when I listened to my heart for not just running fast at something or someone, but listened to it for slowing down, taking a breath…for protecting it against what doesn’t feel right anymore. I realized peace in the middle of a trail run, surrounded by tall greens and dancing waters. The night before felt like four months prior; constricted in a bar by a person who wasn’t there. That night, things, moments flickered fast. I recognized the Vance Joy song, Georgia , on the radio. My friend called his number from her phone, he answered. At a gray booth within a smal...

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