loss

STAGE 4

Her selflessness was her destruction She neglected and offered all of herself She smiled so big She spoke soothing words She needlessly apologized All in her final hours ———- A decade of growth An (unknown) six-month countdown June 24th, 2012 Eyes glazed, mouth gaping Still in her leopard sheets I gazed at her lifeless face Eyes dry, lips pursed She’s almost a stranger But I looked down and noticed my hands look just like hers But with life and warmth I consciously tried to memorize every moment, and all those before There is a light that never goes out Knowing that I would never feel the comfort of a mother’s love again         Author: Jessica Hanak Email: jessicamatela89@gmail.com Author Bio: I am a thirty-year-old Austinite with an occasional ...

LIFE LESSONS FROM OUR TOWN AND STAR TREK

When I was eleven, a televised version of Thornton Wilder’s “Our Town” aired. Since props were expressly minimal, actors had to work extra hard. They often had to mime actions. Viewers were forced to use their imaginations. At the time my parents got three channels, I’m not sure what it was that glued my eleven-year-old self to the story. “Our Town” starts like most stories: boy falls for the girl next door, they marry, an unfortunate tragedy strikes and she dies giving birth. Unlike most stories, Emily, the newly deceased girl next door, is allowed to go back in time and revisit the day of her 12th birthday as an unseen observer. I was heartbroken as the desperate, time-traveling Emily tries and fails to communicate with family and friends. Sadly, she returns to he...

TO ALL THE ONES WE LOVED AND LOST

there is loneliness, and there is heartbreak – in between that, there is loss.   i don’t know what it means to be bereaved, i don’t know what it is like to feel death. but i do know this – i know what it feels like to watch a loved one slip past your fingers (helplessly) i know what it feels like to try and try and try again but silence is the only word from the other end (it rings so loudly inside my head)   there is an aching in your bones and you are tired from the weight. there is still a heart beating inside your ribcage – yet why does it feel so faint?   it is broken; you are aware. it is a miracle you can still live. the other person has taken a piece – ripped off so cruelly, without a thought to spare.   how can that be? i nev...

LIFE, LOSS & RAINY TRIPS TO TARGET

About a week ago, I quietly snapped. It had been one of those days, which many of my recent days have resembled; wrong in every way at some point or another. I’m aware of it, the cloud of weighted sadness. It dissipates briefly throughout the day yet never seems to disappear. There is just so much going on in my life that my mind is struggling to keep up. The realization of this weakness makes me disappointed in myself . . . which makes the weight even heavier. This isn’t me. I know it. Unfortunately for now, that is as far as I can venture. This particular day, I’d already braved the cold weather for groceries when I later realized I still needed diapers. I’d likely forgotten them in my foggy state. Instantly angry. The tiredness from not sleeping well the night before was not helping. An...

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