Time is a tricky booger. The past haunts the confines of the mind while the future weighs our hearts with its unknown. Choices made presently based on parts of history, tomorrow, and the guidance of intuition, so easily this can be clouded.
Fighting and struggling internally each day, questioning, is this where I am supposed to be? Why do I not feel satisfied? Was this my choice, or did I choose with someone else’s vision in mind? How much longer can I last in this place? Do I risk losing what I have now to follow a misted path after a dream?
Cut and run, does that mean you are afraid? Does it mean you have recognized another path, one better suited for you, with an undeniable pull? Why does no one else seem to ask themselves these questions? Is it because there are so many, or is it because they do not have the answers, and that alone is bothersome? Are you running away or running towards something?
Kung Fu Panda suggests sitting in a cave for forty years, though not everyone has the time or the cave access. But how peaceful the echo of calm waters on the rung mouth of a natural plunder slick with patience and grime. Isolation the uncomfortable necessity for real self-exploration, the spelunking of human caves complexly hardwired yet fragile delicacy.
Perhaps I follow a false hope, my sense of self clouded by mundane, fear, and incessant chatter. Comfort in thinking this is the one thing that does not leave me feeling like I should be doing something else. Time will tick on with and without me present. It is my choice to live and experience time bestowed graciously upon this life that we all fight for before coming out of the womb. We won against brothers and sisters to occupy space. A space that only we have the power to fill or die trying.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver
You have years to do so, taking one day to start and the rest filled with dedicated consistency to build a world. How will you make yours? Will you do so with confidence or fear? Life is to grow under any circumstances. Generate the courage to defy and question standards. Walk your path. Ghostly hands will reach out, attempting to pull you off. Stay faithful on your track, and they will be unable to touch you.