just a fatherless girl
full of aching,
not understanding
how could i not
be wanted?
my stepfather loves me,
but it isn’t a love
that can cut across the chasm
of being rejected;
and unwanted
by your own blood kin—
maybe that’s why
i push everyone away
when they get too close
i am too afraid to let them in
because they might chose
to leave me
like he did before
i ever existed,
and how much must my heart ache and love
for people who don’t reciprocate
how i feel?
“you’re not as pure driven white as the snow.”
i know, i have sharp edges;
fiery and fierce
i am not a language everyone understands,
but i tried being meek and humble
no one would listen then;
so i leaned into my magic and my power
realizing my voice was strong and i liked this strength
because i never had to rely on anyone
like the type of father who makes his daughter fatherless—
so go ahead and hate me,
i love me and that’s gonna have to be enough.
