The Dark Night of The Soul: What is it and how to move through it

The process of the Dark Night of The Soul is not for the faint of heart. This is a journey that will break you apart and make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself and your reality. Sounds intense, right? Don’t feel discouraged; this is a time period that teaches you resilience, mental and emotional strength, love, compassion, and humility. There is so much gold in this process, but we have to be willing to stay the course and walk through the dark tunnel so we can see the light.

The dark night of the soul is basically a process where our ego has a wake-up call. This wake-up call can be in the form of an external event such as a global pandemic (hello 2020!), the death of a loved one, a breakup or divorce, a change in your career or it can happen spontaneously from one moment to the next. When this awakening happens, it shatters our reality and sends us into existential crisis mode. This leads us to question our purpose, the point of life, our own beliefs, and all the repressed emotions and traumas that we tried so hard to run away from start coming up to the surface for it to be seen and healed. Depression, anxiety, anger, confusion, grief, and fear are all very common emotions that will arise during this time. Feeling disconnected from yourself, your purpose, and from a higher power is also very common.

I’m currently going through my second dark night of the soul (yes, you can have more than one!) and I’m still not out of it just yet but I will say that the past couple of months have been eye-opening for me. I’ve learned so much about my beliefs and I’m facing the fears and traumas that I’ve been holding onto for years now. I’m understanding why I do the things I do and I’m taking stock of how I would like to move forward. I’m learning the true meaning of self-love and finding compassion in the small moments. The goal during this time is to stay present with whatever is coming up for you and to sit with the pain that arises. Take things day by day, moment by moment. Know that this is temporary and it WILL end. Everything in life is impermanent. That doesn’t erase the fact that this process is very challenging, but it’s a helpful reminder for when you find yourself stuck in the darkness and despair.

Transformation isn’t easy, but when we can change our perspective and train our brains to look at it from a more loving and positive lens, it’ll feel lighter and you’ll strengthen your resiliency. Life is about riding the waves and learning how to be strong in the face of the toughest challenges. Humans are resilient. We are built to withstand the hardest challenges, so it comes down to our willingness and desire to keep going. Remember that the dark night of the soul and any difficult time period is here to teach you something. Your soul always knows where it’s headed, it has a divine plan. Have faith that you are being led into something greater than you can imagine right now. Know that you will rise above the ashes.

by Yasmin Elzomor

Hi loves! My name is Yasmin Elzomor and I am a NYC based relationship + trauma coach. I began fulfilling my mission and purpose through coaching a few years ago when I ended a 4 year relationship. It was a relationship filled with hardship and trauma - I was in a very transitional and difficult point in my life where I didn't know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go. I constantly wondered why I was always attracting unhealthy men and relationships so I wanted to dive deeper into my own shadows and break this cycle I kept hitting. Shortly after ending that relationship, I realized that I wanted to help other women (and men) to step into their power and attract healthier relationships into their lives by understanding their trauma and internal worlds. I am so passionate about helping other people rise and live the life they are worthy of living, as well as holding myself accountable by doing the same and leading with integrity.

Aside from this mission, I am also a content creator + influencer. I work with many different brands that I love and I create content for them and help them grow.


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