The Story Of Us

I think I miss you.

I mean

I know I miss you.

I miss the parts of you that I allowed to become a story.

The glimmers of hope you eagerly placed into my

My raw, bruised hands.

When you held my naked skin on top of yours

And whispered with warm love into my ear

“you feel so right”.

When your smile sparkled through the gap between your front teeth

Before you pulled my body into your embrace.

As you pressed your lips to mine

With a passion that felt so foreign.

You see

I used these glimmers and sparkles

To create a story of partnership.

To create a story of loved I craved.

As I ignored the night you forgot about our date

Leaving me alone on my couch crying into

The red dress that wrapped my body specifically for your consumption.

Or when you promised to review my newest writing

But told me a few days later you “didn’t have the time”.

Or the evening I kept looking towards the entry way doors

At my first speaking event but you never showed

Because an investor called you.

You see

It’s easy to miss the story of us that I created.

That version of you that sparkled in my eyes

As you ran your fingers through my wavy hair

And said “I’m falling for you”.

It’s hard to reckon this with the reality of us though.

The reality that you did not choose me,

As I chose you.

So I do miss you.

I miss the story that your gap toothed smile made me believe.

by rovervoll

Rachel is the author of the best-selling memoir, Finding Feminism which depicts her upbringing in fundamentalist Evangelical Christianity and how she broke free. Since leaving the church in her early twenties, Rachel graduated with a BS in Tourism Management from Indiana University. After college, she began a career in sales, enabling her to travel throughout the country. She has actively worked for women's rights, volunteering with various domestic and sexual violence organizations, including "Project PAVE" in Denver. Rachel has also facilitated conversations around religion, feminism, body positivity, and privilege in her community. Since leaving religion, Rachel has considered the open roads her church. She lives in Denver with her rescue dog, Daisy.


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