At the beginning, I thought of this trip as an adventure: beach, drinks and a getaway from my home. But really it became much more that that.
There was a lot of adventure and exploring too, but the feeling you get when having dinner with a long-time friend and being real with what you’ve experienced the past ten years … it does something to your soul. It brings sad and happy tears. You feel yourself growing. And glowing. It’s like you’re shedding a cocoon and giving yourself permission to love the colors you’ve been given. There’s no better feeling than you becoming you.
At first you wonder, why couldn’t this happen at home? Why did you have to travel so far to feel this. And I’ve learned that it’s because when we stay in what is hurting you, you lose sight of how you want to address that issue. You forgot to take a step back and reevaluate yourself and the problem. All logic goes out the window.
On this trip I gave myself four days of carelessness. I didn’t care if I showered everyday. I didn’t care if I didn’t work out. I didn’t care that I had seven drinks that day. And I didn’t care if people were looking at my swimsuit. I didn’t care.
In those four days I learned that doing things out of your comfort zone helped me grow. I learned that when I opened my heart and allowed myself to love the shade and shape I’m in, I’m much happier. I smiled at strangers. I ate food I’ve never tried before. And I was in a country I’ve never seen before. I was in chill mode.
As I sat on a Saturday night having dinner alone, I made a checklist of goals I want to accomplish when I return home:
- Find a new job
- Get my business plan together
- Get back on track with my work outs and lose 15 lbs by December
- Journal at least four times a month
I developed a new love for travel. Not only because I get to see new places, but because of how it makes me feel. I may not have fallen in love with Costa Rica, but I fell back in love with myself.