I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me.
No matter what they say I still feel like I’m losing oxygen.
Even though my heart is still beating.
They love me they say.
“It’s okay” they tell me but really I still feel like something is chasing after me.
I don’t know if it’s me holding on to my pain.
I don’t know why it’s so easy for me to feel so alone in a box filled with shame.
but I’m so tired of feeling this way.
I try to tell myself it’ll get better the next day.
Sometimes it does, other times it doesn’t.
Sometimes it feels as though my words are invalid to the person and people I want to hear me the most.
Other days I just give up and mute myself.
Because it’s hard…it feels so hard.
I feel so alone.
I’ve been so gone mentally since before I hit my teens.
I’m tired of feeling this way.
I get triggered by a touched,
Or a word that’s dangerous to my memories, but they don’t understand it.
they just say it’s okay or I’m overreacting.
“I can be fixed one day or I can help you find your way” they state.
But that isn’t enough for me.
I still feel alone and I’m only 19.
Yet It feels like something is creeping up on me telling me I should try to disappear and not just in a dream.
View more: He left me when I was young
